


Chrysanthemum

by TWICEisDAEBAK



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWICEisDAEBAK/pseuds/TWICEisDAEBAK
Summary: Momo is a typical girl who has issues and is trying to figure herself out. On top of that she is mentally messed up, but she hasn't always been that way.. Unsure of how to sort her problems with her ex. But little does she know the impossible is about to become the possible...but will it be with her ex or her new lover?





	1. Memento Vivere

Hirai Momo stop moving, or else I’ll bite you. “I can’t help it, I’m ticklish,” she pouts. A trail of soft kisses start from Momo’s chest, slowly moving to her shoulder, and stopping at the peak of her neck.

She then makes small circles with her tongue and sucks on the young girls skin to claim what is hers before moving onto second base.

 

Momo’s heavy breathing increases as every kiss sucks the life out of her soul, getting more and more intense.

 

Momo is pinned to the wall with the brightest bunny smile shining back at her. She’s nervous. Her body and hips can’t stop squirming to free themselves but are glued to the wall by another limb. Her arms waving and hands wandering as if they had a mind and can function on its own. They’re touching, grasping, feeling for contact, wanting her to touch back. “Stop moving, relax, I’ll be gentle, I promise,” the older girl winks, teasing her.

 

Momo listens to the girl, and stays excruciatingly quiet and remains the passenger of the car she’s about to take for a spin. Momo loves to full throttle and the feeling of being in control.

 

The older girls long slender hand moves quickly from Momos’ neck to chest. Her fingers trail Momo’s chest gently creating S movements. They follow and trace her abs before her index finger makes its way past Momo’s navel, meeting the base of her laced underwear.

 

Her eyes close in hopes of a surprising miracle to occur.  And her heavy breathing stops as she holds her breath.

 

Their eyes lock and it’s the most intense feeling in the world as if she’s been mind-fucked. She could give her entirety to this girl right then and there. The trust just feels so strong and she wouldn’t want it with anyone else but her.

 

 

“Oh? Hirai Momo and laced undies?” the older girl says while giggling at the same time. Her left hand cups Momo’s jaw entirely. Meanwhile, her free hand wanders elsewhere, finding its way to the girl’s secret spot. 

 

Slow strokes and then to faster stroking as she carefully hears Momo’s breathing and intellectually reads Momo’s body language.

 

Momo’s breathing increases as the girl plays her like an instrument, and Momo lets out an uncontrollable whimper. Simultaneously, straddling the long fingers, and engraving her nails deep into the girl.

 

“Fuck, don’t stop…” Momo says with her eyes still gazing at the girl with deep contact.

 

“Im Nayeon, I’m close, I’m about to…”

 

BUZZ BUZZZ BUZZZ BUZZZZ (phone vibrates: 1 missed call and text from Son Chaeyoung)

 

Momo awakes feeling drained. “What the hell, what a bizarre dream? And of the most popular girl in the entire school…” she says with confusion upon her face. Simultaneously laughing because like that would ever happen, her and Nayeon hooking up, no fucking way.

 

Momo checks her phone to see one missed call and text from Chaengie.

 

(5:05:01) Chaeyoung: Where are you?? You were supposed to be here at 5!

…

(5:05:40) Momo: I’ll be there, I fell asleep, give me 20 minutes.

 

Momo was supposed to meet Chae to help her on an art project.

Her hair is a tangled mess, and becomes more tangled when her hands frustrate her head, “ARGHHHHH,” she yells with anger.

 

Momo whines and slowly gets up still weird out by her dream. And they say guys only have “wet dreams,” I think not. Besides, this isn’t the first time she’s dreamt of a woman.

 

She’s always been an admirer, admiring the girl she likes from afar.

 

Once, she was in like with Yoo Jeongyeon during her freshman year, another girl from her class who sat in front of her. Momo couldn’t stop staring at the back of her head, that beautiful bushel of hair. As if she was waiting for Jeongyeon to turn around and say hi to her first, instead of the constant quick turns to pass assignments up and down. Girls with short hair don’t really peak an interest for Momo, but that girl crush really crushed her feelings for two semesters, making her heart ride an emotional rollercoaster. But eventually they became the best of friends since they had so many classes together and shared mutual friends.

 

Momo always defends Jeongyeon, she is like a sister to her. Whoever makes fun of Jeongyeon will see the Hirai fist of pain. And to those who continuously call Jeongyeon bro (hyung), always get into a verbal altercation with her. She gives these fools a lesson 101 on calling a girl bro. It is to no wonder that Momo occasionally is called to the Deans office.

 

On the front, she may be tough and carries a bitch face but internally she is harmless, caring, and super nice. She’s the type of girl who trusts easily but has difficulty forgiving. Heck, Momo wouldn’t even kill an ant if it crawled on her arm.

 

“I appreciate you looking out for me, but Momo you need to be tough, you’re too nice,” Jeongyeon always reminds her.

But to Jeongyeon tough meant not being lied to, easily tricked, or fooled.

 

In the past, nice and mean Momo personas have always clashed. It wasn’t always easy for her. Too many people take advantage of nice Momo, and the countless heartbreaks she’s experienced with the wrong girls. It’s complicated, because Momo doesn’t necessarily know how to be tough. But being tough for Momo meant looking badass and fighting. Little did she know her alter-ego would take a toll on her grades.

 

Like this one time Jeongyeon dragged Momo to a DeltaSig frat party, and had a little too much to drink. Someone at the party called her stupid, and she took it to heart and gave that fucker a black eye. And that same night another frat jock hit on her girlfriend and they got into a quarrel.

 

Or this one time when Mina, Jeongyeon, and Dubu were all having lunch at the cafeteria and a guy walked past their table and said Kim Dahyun was ugly. Momo immediately got upset and chased after that ass-hat, screaming words, and cursing.

 

Sometimes little things bother her and she becomes upset. Her stomach boils and her fists tighten, wanting to take out her anger on something or someone.

 

Being rejected from a sorority partially took a toll on her mentally.

 

Therefore, Momo’s been extremely cautious about socials ever since and feels indifferent about it. Though Jeongyeon and Chaeng are in it. They always drag her along. Parties now, help her ‘relax’ and let loose.

 

 

When it comes to Im Nayeon, who she’s been having a horrible crush on since the start of the school year, she’s just so beautiful.

 

And not being able to have what she wants, annoys the heck out of her, it kills her. Her tough shell breaks and falls apart. And she wants nothing more than to be wanted by Nayeon.

 

Nayeon is the chapter president of Alpha Phi, which is literally the top sorority on campus. Which also explains her unsurprising popularity and connections with almost every frat/sorority house there is.

 

She’s not only a sight to see but she’s also the top 5% of the school. She probably wouldn’t even notice someone like Momo in the first place. Considering that Momo is a nobody. Momo doesn’t even now Hirai Momo.

 

Smart pretty girls like her don’t talk to girls like Momo. They have their sight set elsewhere. Bad students ruin reputations, particularly those who get into fights.

 

There are prettier girls in her class but its different, because none of them is Nayeon. They don’t compare. They can’t compare to her.

 

This girl is the talk of the class…no, she’s actually the talk of the whole Konkuk University. Momo sits a couple seats away from her. She’s a beautiful blossoming flower. A rose that is as red as crimson. She is the perfect visual, nice symmetrical lips with slight curvatures at the tips, oval beautiful eyes, cute bunny teeth, and soft skin so pure like snow. Guys trip when they see her and girls become envious of her alluring beauty. Momo might as well trip everyday at the sight of a perfect Nayeon.

 

It is no wonder she is an addicting view the more glances Momo takes. Momo would for sure get nervous if Nayeon ever approached her. The poor girl would probably panic and pretend to do something uncalled for. Like planning a funeral for her pet turtle.

 

“What does she eat to get so beautiful?” Momo ponders.

 

The thought of Nayeon being with someone else knots her stomach and she suddenly feels ill.

 

Momo is intrigued by Nayeon. And, Momo wishes so much that her presence would be noticed.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon and Hirai Momo share an apartment together.

 

Their apartment is about a 6 minutes drive from the campus dorms.

The only reason why Momo offered to help Chaeng was because she made a promise. Momo got so shit-faced drunk one night at a party, she became hopeless, thinking she’d be forever single and alone.

And to her embarrassment Chaeng had recorded her, acting a fool and most importantly the promise.

The desperate promise repeats itself: “I Hirai Momo, promise to do anything for you Son Chaeyoung, if you hook me up with s-someone.”

 

Having a car is convenient, but what a bitch having to find parking. Thank goodness parking is available after 4p.m. with the permit Momo has. The ignition shuts and Momo grabs her phone to text Chaeng.

 

(5:22:15) Momo: I’m heading to your dorm now.  
(5:22:23) Chaeyoung: Abort! Your ex is here. I will meet you at the library instead, wait for me!

 

How is someone supposed to forget their first love? Well they don’t, time creates memories and that’s that.

 

It boggles Momo’s mind of how they initially met. Before, new rushees had to attend frat parties to surround themselves with the culture and familiarity of being in a fraternity. Since Chae was already a member in a coed frat, she had invited Momo and Jeongyeon to attend their local party. That’s when Momo laid eyes on the tall beautiful girl in the house.

 

Before Momo made the promise to Chaeng that night at the party, something had happened between her and that innocent girl. Something intimate. Momo is afraid to initiate conversations or to make first moves but, when under the influence and the drinks start to settle and the buzz kicks in, she lets loose. And there’s no telling what Momo can commit.

 

That night was fuzzy for Momo, she just remembered kissing some tall pretty girl…

 

What had happened was they both had a little too much to drink and felt comfortable with each other. Both riding an emotional roller coaster, feeling high as a kite, and suddenly as sad as a clown. And sooner than later, it just happened so quickly.

 

Momo goes for it and grabs the tall girl by the hand and drags her to the bathroom. Aggressively shoves her against the wall and goes all in. Forcefully restraining her hands with her own, kissing her neck and inching her way up to this girls crescent lips. Momo presses a hard kiss and then slowly retracts herself to grasp for air and to bite the younger girl’s thick lower lip, then French kissing her. Realizing what she had done, and makes silent eye contact…The not so innocent girl pushes back and grabs Momo by the ass and lifts her, seating her on the sink counter and latches onto Momo’s shirt firmly. And with the other free hand gripping Hirai by the neck and locks lips again. Soft kisses at first because the tall girl isn’t sure what she is doing also. Later escalating to fast and hard aggressive kisses as the party continues and they’re both stuck in the bathroom running bases.

 

Coincidentally, it just so happens that that tall pretty girl was that “someone” Chae wanted to hook her up with that night at the party. 

 

If it weren’t for Chaeng then Momo wouldn’t have met her ex, Chou Tzuyu.

 

But it has become awkward for Momo ever since Tzuyu moved back and started dorm’ing with Chaeng. Whatever her motive is, apparently, Momo tries to avoid her at all costs. Even looking at Tzuyu brings back sad and happy memories.

 

Everyone knows her by Yoda because of her ears.

 

Tzuyu is stunning and beautiful. Her tall slender physique, shiny glaring innocent eyes, dark skin, and cute smile can guarantee a jaw drop. She is a princess, rarely speaks, and likes being nurtured like a baby. And that’s what she saw in Momo, hard on the surface, soft, sweet, and caring underneath.

 

And if it weren’t partially for Tzuyu, then maybe Momo wouldn’t need to act so tough all the time. During her junior year of college Momo was so in love with Chou Tzuyu.

 

Consider it being blinded by love. Momo’s had flings before, some here and there but nothing too serious. But this time its different, because it’s her first actual serious relationship after coming out to her parents and friends. She would drive an hour away to get her favorite food, just to satisfy Yoda’s cravings. Momo would always put Yoda first even if it meant her own happiness would come last. She would take a bullet for her even if it meant her life because that’s what love is. When someone is madly and deeply in love, they do stupid things.

 

Being so blinded by love, even her best friend Yoo Jeongyeon couldn’t even save her. The countless times Jeongyeon’s tried to brainwash Momo about Tzuyu.

“That girl is bad news, its always the pretty girls that mess you up,” Jeongyeon would always say. But to no surmise Momo wouldn’t have it, isolating herself from outer existence because she revolves around Tzuyu.

 

Momo gives in all the time to Tzuyu’s demands, whatever Tzuyu wants she gets there is no second questioning, or no for an answer.

But that TzuMo orbital broke when she first handedly caught Tzuyu and Sana kissing from a distance.

(Jeongyeong was right…for the most part…)

 

Momo may not be Tzuyu’s first love, but of all her ex’s, she loved her the most.

For the longest time, Momo couldn’t get over that first love and she still isn’t sure if she is 100% over her (even though she says she is). They never really said ‘lets break up’, it sort of was whatever and no text or word from Tzuyu for months. Because she had dropped everything and moved back to Taiwan all of a sudden.

 

Momo thought she could save herself the extra heartbreak by ending it with Tzuyu but couldn’t make the words come out of her mouth. At the same time, desperately trying not to lose her.

 

But no excuse Tzuyu gave that day would have mended her broken heart after seeing her lock lips with Sana. Her heart had turned to stone and shattered into tiny pieces. Her world had come tumbling down; crashing. And has been in denial since.

 

If Momo chose to drink, she knew the more she did the next day would result in a terrible hangover. But drinking herself senseless wouldn’t numb the pain, it wouldn’t subside the ache or make it go away. But, instead Momo does what she does best. She exiles herself in her room, crying, shutting herself from the world because nothing would make it better but silence.

 

Momo wants to get better mentally, mainly for herself. But from time to time the sudden feeling of sadness gnaws at her and she immediately gets upset because there’s more to life than feeling depressed all the time. Momo’s emotions are just as fucked up as her attitude is. It’s all over the place. She can be a total wreckage…

(She’s really not okay, that’s why she fronts a bitch face.)

 

Maybe Momo isn’t good enough for Tzuyu and Sana is. Sometimes guilt eats her up because maybe she didn’t do enough for Tzuyu and that’s why they aren’t together anymore. Maybe she wasn’t thoughtful enough, or she couldn’t make Tzuyu happy anymore. Or maybe she did too much for her. Momo closes her eyes and shakes her head to shrug off her thoughts. 

 

It’s not Tzuyu (or maybe it is) that she misses, but the feeling of having someone that is missed. But the feeling of falling for someone, then potentially getting heartbroken…to go through that cycle over and over again is exhausting, its tiring.

 

Momo deeply sighs because the topic of love and heavily investing in someone emotionally is such a scary thing. She’s afraid, but if she did like someone she knows she has to be brave.

 

She deeply sighs, whilst strolling to the library and thinking quietly amongst herself. Though Tzuyu is at the far corners of her brain, as of now, she wouldn’t want that with anyone else but Nayeon. Just Im Nayeon.

 

(5:40:01) Momo: I’m here, are you?

No response from Chae…

“Yo Momoring!” A familiar voice calls out. It’s Jeongyeon. Confusion draws on her face, because even though the girl lives with Momo she has never in her life seen Momo at the library ever.

 

“What are you doing here?” Momo asks after looking down at her phone.

Jeongyeon looks around the library, “Oh I’m doing a group project with Jennie, Jisoo, and you’ll never guess who else!”

 

Now confusion draws on Momo’s face, thinking of who it might be, “uh, Tzuyu?” she says with a furrowed brow.

“What?? No why would Tzuyu be in the same group as me…its Nayeon!” A relief overcomes Momo but quickly and abruptly changes as she hears Nayeon’s name. Momo knows of the other girls in the group from past parties but never really spoken to them. And definitely never spoken to Nayeon either.

 

Again, pretty girls like them don’t give girls like Momo the time of day. Their eyes are high above their heads they wouldn’t even know their shoelaces were untied.

 

“I thought you should know considering how much you like her and all…,” Jeongyeon laughs and says under one breath.

 

Jeongyeon stares at Momo’s emotionless stale face.

 

The classmates are supposedly meeting soon to start the group project, but Jeongyeon is the first to show up.

 

“What about you? Why are you at the library anyways, I thought you’d be at your group therapy meeting thing?” Jeongyeon questions back.

Momo is lost in her own world and doesn’t reply to Jeongyeon.

“Hello? Earth to Momo.” She waves.

Her hand waves again in front of Momo to break the stare. “My therapy is later, sorry, I’m meeting Chaeng because I’m helping her on some art project,” Momo answers robotically.

 

Chatter begins to spread throughout the library and heads start to turn. Joining the curiosity, Momo turns her head too. A group of girls with arms linked walk in giggling and smiling but Momo is fixated on one particular girl, the one in the center, long hair, milky pale smooth skin, white bunny teeth, and…its Nayeon.

 

Jeongyeon snaps her fingers to draw Momo back. “Dude, you’re weirding me out with that stare, at least close your mouth, or don’t make it so obvious..,” Jeongyeon blurts feeling grossed out by Momo’s loveydovey stare.

 

There’s no secret of Momo’s that Jeongyeon doesn’t know about and vice-versa. They practically can read each other’s faces, if there was something wrong.

 

The trio walk in Jeongyeon’s direction to the table area and they wave at her. Momo continues to eye Nayeon until Jeongyeon slightly elbows her and she quickly looks down to her phone pretending she’s received a text from Chaeng. And pretending she is texting someone.

 

If she looked at Nayeon’s eyes, lasers might shoot out and blow Momo to smithereens. She continues to fiddle with her phone and looks down.

 

Jeongyeon grins letting out a fake laugh. All the tables are occupied with students.

 

“Are we working here or do you want to schedule a meeting room?” Nayeon asks politely searching for an unoccupied table but to her luck, nothing.

 

Momo seems invisible to her, not even a gesture, a wave, or hi. Nothing.

 

Momo wouldn’t dare initiate a conversation as Nayeon’s presence makes her nervous as hell. She’s standing a few inches away from her and Momo’s throat is already constricting.

 

“Momo I’ll see you later at home, tell Chae I said hi.” Jeongyeon turns around and makes a face to Momo widening her eyes, and leaves with the group. She looks at the girls leave and rolls her eyes at Jeongyeon.

 

 

Chae spots Momo at the tables with an annoyed look on her face…“Oh my gosh, sorry I’m so late, ugh Tzuyu was being so nosy, I couldn’t get her to stop asking me questions. So I had to make up some lame excuse.”

 

“You missed Jeongyeon earlier, she was here too, she said hi.”

 

Momo shouldn’t even ask because she hasn’t spoken to Tzuyu since. But Tzuyu is her first love and she will always have a soft spot for her. In a sense, hearing updates from Chae about Tzuyu eases her. Momo looks at Chae unpack her art supplies, “what did Tzuyu ask you?”

 

Chae stops packing and looks at Momo tiredly, “she asked me how you are and what you’ve been up to lately. You two are so weird, even though you aren’t together anymore its clear she still cares about you and you care about her too, I think you two need to talk it out.”

 

Momo’s face boils, “No way! She might throw herself onto me, plus it’s not a good idea…”

 

Momo helps Chaeng with her art project for the time being before she has to attend her usual group therapy meeting.

 

 

So, “Guys, do you know?” Jeongyeon asks trying to break the ice because she isn’t familiar with the other girls.

They look at her perplexed, because they have no idea what Jeongyeon is talking about. And she asks again do you know. Jisoo is confused, but responds first, “I don’t know…” and Jeongyeon replies back “me too” and laughs out loud, laughter quickly follows Jisoo. Meanwhile, Jennie and Nayeon are on the same page, “that wasn’t even funny” and they both look at each other and blurt out laughing, ‘jinx’.

 

The girls work together brainstorming ideas for their project. Nayeon takes initiative jotting down ideas and directly appoints herself as group leader.

 

Nayeon suddenly interrupts Jeongyeon, “that girl you were with earlier, isn’t she the girl who gave that one guy a black eye at the DeltaSig party?”

 

Jeongyeon nods her head and furrows her brow, “yeah, that’s my friend Hirai Momo, why?”

 

Nayeon noticed Momo earlier, its not that she didn’t. It’s just that Momo was too busy staring at her phone during their interaction.

 

“Oh just curious, I think she sits behind me in class, also, I’ve seen her before, at some parties but never knew her name…, what kind of name is Momo anyways?” Nayeon scoffs.

 

“She’s Japanese, she came here around 5 years ago,” Jeongyeon explains.

“I’ve been to Japan before!” Jennie butts in.

 

Nayeon looks down and Jeongyeon stares at her because its obvious she’s thinking of Momo.

 

The thought that Momo is Japanese fascinates Nayeon. Endless questions arise like why did she move here? Why hasn’t Momo interacted with her? Who is Momo? (Nayeon is so popular everyone knows her and most likely has spoken to her.)

 

Nayeon is a perfectionist and isn’t shy to initiate conversation. She takes interest in just about anything that intrigues her but gets bored quickly. She loves a challenge when she sees one.

 

Momo would soon be that challenge for Nayeon.

 

 

Everyone gathers in the room and sits down holding their cups of hot coffee and donuts.

“Would anyone like to share a story today?” the support leader asks kindly.

Momo stares at the cup of black coffee that’s as black as her soul and exhales.

 

Exhaling in and out.

 

Not sure what is darker, the cup of black coffee she’s holding or the bags around her eyes from the lack of sleep she's been having lately. Contemplating whether she should share a story today or remain quiet as always because these meetings seem to help her. She is surrounded by others who have similar issues and problems. Their stories drown her problems away for the time being. The bitterness in her coffee always causes a distraction for her as it does the last meeting and the one previous to that..

 

Momo met Mina because of Jeongyeon; they used to date.

Jeongyeon has a thing for Japanese girls even though she doesn’t admit it.

Ever since Mina moved here from Japan, she’s been depressed. She misses her family and friends back home. Most importantly, she misses her parents the most and moving to a foreign country where she has to start over and learn the language is terrifying. Nonetheless, Mina hides her problems and most of the time maintains her composure and is quiet. 

 

This has been Momo’s 9th meeting. Every time she attends, she always tries to push herself to speak up. But she just doesn’t have the courage or strength to share her story yet.

Today might finally be that day. Momo’s throat begins to tighten and she fights to breathe as if she’s drowning. As if she’s just about to have a silent death.

She brings the cup to her lips and takes a sip, drowning the voices inside her head, “I want to share.”

 

Momo gathers her strength and walks to the front of the room with her cup of joe, sets it aside on the flat podium and clears her throat.

 

Hi my names Hirai Momo, this is my 9th time being here. Firstly, I want to say thanks for all the support its been helping me…coming to these meetings I mean. The free donuts and coffee is great too. (Mina stares and nods at Momo, verbally eyeing her that it’s okay and to keep going.) I’ve been feeling down, depressed to be exact. And as a result, anger boils inside me. Lately I’ve been feeling unlike me. I get annoyed with my attitude and just at myself. Its difficult to please and be nice to everyone when you’re constantly being taken for granted. People use me as a stepping-stone to get somewhere. I constantly feel I’m not good enough even when it comes to my relationships. And this depression is hitting me hard, I’ve been getting angrier for no apparent reason, which is unlike me. I get angry and regret my actions after. I’ve also been feeling quite sad these days, mostly feeling unwanted. There’s emptiness inside me..

 

Momo stares at everyone and back to her cup and doesn’t say anything after. She doesn’t want to share too much. Her problems are deeply rooted than she thought and no one wants to hear her nonsense. Besides, she doesn’t wish to hog the spotlight.

“Thanks,” Momo says mumbling, and grabbing her joe and heading for the chair next to Mina.

Mina pats Momo on the back and squeezes Momos hand, gesturing that she did well.

 

“Good job today Momo,” the support leader greets.

Momo smiles back frankly, feeling relief strike her as she finally shared today.

 

 

Momo’s eyes stare at the ceiling, counting the number of circles there are.

Silence sets and she feels at ease.

 

Memories of Tzuyu invade her privacy and she can’t help but somewhat think about the tall beautiful girl and if she didn’t break it off would things be different today.

 

The door slams, Jeongyeon is home. The bang interrupts Momo’s silence and the sound of rushing footsteps become more apparent. She forcefully enters Momo’s room and welcomes herself onto the girl’s bed.

 

A grand smile appears on Jeongyeon’s face as if she has some secret to spill.

 

“Nayeon asked about you” Jeongyeon exclaims with excitement.

Unsure of what to feel or react, Momo doesn’t know whether she should get up and ask about it or to continue counting from wherever she left off.

“Ya right, she didn’t even look at me or say anything, so why would she say something about me?” Momo doesn’t move and lays restless.

 

Jeongyeon blabbers about what happened earlier with Nayeon because she can’t seem to keep her mouth closed.

Even though Momo decides to not ask much about Nayeon, she is curious. And Jeongyeon knows, they share everything, so for her to not say anything would be odd.

(Jeongyeon leaves Momo’s room after telling her about what happened earlier.)

 

An hour passes and Momo is still restless, this time counting sheep’s in hopes to fall asleep.

Momo mumbles and stumbles upon her words, her heads turning side to side.

 

“Please don’t leave…I need you” the tall girl says with tear filled eyes.

“You cheated on me with Sana” Momo yells back brokenheartedly trying to hold back her tears.

“Let me explain it’s not what you think it is” Tzuyu says devastatingly.

Momo runs and suddenly appears in a field full of half alive and dead flowers.

No Tzuyu in sight, all alone, by herself…silent.

 

She wakes up in a puddle of sweat, slightly dried tears rolling down the sides of her eyes, and lips dry as a desert. It was a bad dream, a nightmare. But it still hurts and Momo is unsure about her feelings now.

 

 

Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Mina, and Momo sit together chatting about nonsense. Momo doesn’t say much and just stares outside the class window at the fluffy clouds passing by.

 

Class is soon to begin.

 

Why would Nayeon ask about Momo? She doesn’t even know her or look her way.

 

Nayeon attends almost every frat or sorority party but Momo can’t really recall her being there. Probably because every time Momo goes to these parties with her friends, she gets fucking wasted to the point where she acts completely different.

Nayeon makes an entrance with Jennie and the class attention focuses on them.

Nayeon loves attention but she spots Momo. Momo is the only one who is staring oppositely. And Nayeon looks at the class windows too.

 

Her conscience speak, “what is she looking at? Are clouds that great to stare at?” Nayeon’s curved lips repeat Momo’s name over and over. Still thinking to herself…”pft what kind of name is that, M-O-M-O, Momo…”

 

The teacher walks in and all the students sit and look to the front in unison and class begins.  Assignments are distributed and Nayeon purposely turns around to pass the stack of papers, instead of handing them over her shoulders.

 

She is trying to see if Momo will look at her. And to her surprise, they share a quick moment of eye contact.

 

Nayeon’s eyes scrunch and her smile crescents. Momo immediately looks away. She struggles because whilst staring at Nayeon she thinks of kissing her.

 

“The derivative of this equation is the integral of f(x). And if you solve for x you are guaranteed to obtain the same answer. F(x)= 3xsin(x)+9x^2. Can someone give me the answer to this problem?”

 

Momo fiddles with her pencil and collects her thoughts, “did Nayeon just look at me and smile?” Momo brings her hand to her mouth to conceal her quiet laughter and shyly smiles.

 

“Momo! Would you care to share the answer to this problem or share with the class what is so funny” the teacher cold calls. Her smile drops as everyone turns to look at her.

 

Jihyo nudges Momo to whisper her the answer.

However, the words that come out of Momo’s mouth isn’t the answer.

“I saw a cute bunny walk in, it was so soft..,” she says with a tough face and the whole class bursts out laughing.

 

Because of that nightmare, Momo’s mind is elsewhere though her body is in class. The teacher hits the chalkboard with his palm to silence the class. He sends Momo to the dean’s office because she’s disturbed the class.

 

Before heading home, Jeongyeon fetches Momo from the dean’s office, “so, this soft bunny, she looked at you today, I saw.”

 

Momo responds hesitantly, “yeah, we had a moment, but I don’t know anymore, I mean, I’ve liked her for some time now, but the other night I had a dream about Tzuyu. And lately I’ve been thinking about her. I know we aren’t a thing anymore, but still..”

 

Jeongyeon furrows her brow “did you see Tzuyu or something?”

She hasn’t seen Tzuyu in a while and doesn’t know how she would act if they stood face to face.

 

Momo takes in everything, the situation with Tzuyu, Nayeon’s curiosity, and the story sharing at group therapy. She’s not completely sure anymore, if she’s ready to get hurt again. 

 

Depressing thoughts fill Momo’s mind. She instantly becomes upset and tightens her fists. Her teeth clench so hard, her jaw protrudes.

Her quick reflexes act and she swings first, punching the brick wall, in hopes to knock out her thoughts but to no luck because what she just did was stupid. And she’s just injured her hand.

 

Not only are her annoying thoughts still there, but she is now in pain, and her knuckles are bruised and bleeding.

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you to be tough…” Worry draws on Jeongyeon’s face as she says it in a regretful tone.

 

The cabinet opens, Jeongyeon searches for qtips, band-aids, and Neosporin.

“I’m fine, I’ll be okay…”

 

(Momo is tough, but she’s hurting.)

 

 

Chae and Dubu wave at Momo from a distance before nearing closer. Momo squints and waves back at them both.

 

Alpha Phi is throwing a huge party tomorrow. They’re known for having the prettiest girls. It is to no question, why so many people attend their parties.

 

“Momo-ya are you going?” Dubu smirks.

“I think Jeongyeon said she was going to go, but then again she kind of goes to all the parties…” Chaengie adds.

Momo contemplates before eyeing the two youngsters, “probably not, I’m not really in a partying mood.”

 

A foot away, a long hair girl is walking towards them.  Blurry at first but her face becomes clear the nearer she gets.

“Oh shit, its your ex” Chae says under her breathe.

Before Momo could run away to avoid Tzuyu, she approaches the girls, smiling, her dimple so noticeable, “hi, I thought I saw familiar faces.” 

 

A sudden wave of heat hits Momo and she panics.

 

Momo freezes but manages to look at Tzuyu in a collective manner.

 

Momo widens her eyes at Dubu and Chaeng to hint that she wants to leave, “uhhhh, we were just leaving…”

 

Tzuyu’s presence can sometimes make Momo feel awkward because the words that want to come out of her mouth for sure would make her regret speaking in the first place. It would make her regret her actions also.

 

It’s not that Momo hates Tzuyu, she doesn’t, it’s just circumstances now are different, she’s changed. (supposedly)

 

Tzuyu wrinkles her brow thinking if she’s said or done something wrong.

“Momo, can we talk?” Tzuyu suddenly asks in front of the two girls.

 

Dubu and Chaeng look at the two intently.

 

Momo hand brushes her hair back and nervously lies, “I really have to go,” and swiftly walks away.

 

Tzuyu pouts as she watches Momo scurry away from her. Dubu and Chaeng shrug their shoulders at Tzuyu.

 

 

Tzuyu stares at the ground. Her eyes unblinking as light tears start to form.

 

Dubu see’s her expression and changes the topic, “so Alpha Phi is throwing a party tomorrow, are you going?” she asks cheerfully.

 

“What time is the party?” she asks out of interest.

But before the two could answer, Tzuyu impatiently responds, “maybe, I don’t know” and sprints away.

 

“Is she okay?” Dubu asks confused..

Chaeng scratches her nose, “I don’t know, beats me.”

 

 

Jeongyeon grabs her phone to text Momo.

 

(6:00:00) Jeongyeon: Momoring, I’m meeting my group members now, but what do you want to eat for dinner?

(6:05:03) Momo: Can you pick something up on the way back? Anything is fine as long as its meat or jokbal, thanks!

 

Jisoo proofs her layout and shows the others, “so what do you think about this proposal?”

 There are specific bullet points and great ideas written down, even Nayeon is impressed. And as long as Nayeon doesn’t complain or pitches her two cents, all is well and the whole group agrees.

 

Everyone packs their belongings and gathers their pencils, pens, and papers.

Jennie checks her phone to see the time and realized that she forgot she was suppose to meet Lisa for dinner, they were going to eat at some expensive place and the reservation was already booked.

 

Jisoo patiently waits for Nayeon to gather her things, but Nayeon tells her she’ll meet up with her later, and Jisoo leaves first.

 

Jeongyeon views her phone also to check the time and its 6:45 p.m. She is indecisive on what to buy later since Momo said she was okay with anything. As she heads for the door, Nayeon catches her in time.

 

“You know I’m having a party tomorrow night right?” still gathering her papers.

Jeongyeon nods indicating that she is well aware.

“You should bring that cute Japanese girl-friend of yours” her square teeth shine as she smiles hard.

She smiles back at the bunny girl and closes the door behind her.

 

 

“I bought dinner!” Jeongyeon shouts carrying a cardboard box and two bags. The door slams shut and Momo comes out rubbing her stomach in circles. She grabs the bags from Jeongyeon and heads for the table. Her hand’s still sore and her knuckles sting from the medicine and the ridiculous bandaging is irritating her.

 

“Took you long enough, damn.”

Jeongyeon jokingly yells back to Momo, “Don’t be mean, I didn’t know what to eat either, sheesh! You’re welcome!”

 

Momo tears the other half of the box to reveal the round pineapple pizza and lays out the fried chicken, dumplings (with side raddish) and jokbal on the table along with the drinks in the bag.

 

Silence passes as they both stuff their faces with food and Jeongyeon attentively watches TV.

 

Jeongyeon tells Momo everything but isn’t sure if she should tell her that Nayeon mentioned her again during their meeting. She presumes Momo knows about the Alpha Phi party from their other friends but then again, everyone knows their parties, they’re notorious in a sense.

 

But, Jeongyeon decides to keep the incident to herself and gets straight to the point.

 

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

Momo already knows the question she’s going to ask and quickly shuts her down, “I’m not going.” A stern look covers her face and she stares at the ground.

Jeongyeon’s face puzzles, “how did you what I was going to ask you?”

She squints her eyes at Jeongyeon, “I’m telepathic.”

The sound of TV and their laughter fill the room.

 

“How was your group therapy session?” she asks forgetting that Momo had it the other day.

Momo plays with the toppings on her pizza before responding to Jeongyeon, “it was good, I finally shared a story.”

 

Jeongyeon pats her back and side hugs Momo.

 

 

“Let’s go!” Jeongyeon shouts.

Momo grunts…”I told you I’m not going, I’m not in the mood.”

 

Momo didn’t tell Jeongyeon the reason behind her not going, but Jeongyeon already knows why. She can tell when Momo isn’t feeling right or up to par.

If Momo doesn’t go, then this’ll be their first ‘not going together’ to a party.

 

She repeats Momo’s excuse, “not in the mood?, that’s why we should go to put you in the mood duh dummy.” Besides they’re each other’s wing-woman and if one of them got super drunk they would need taking care of or a designated driver.

 

As per usual, Momo relentlessly is dragged to the party wearing an oversized hoodie and destroyed washed boyfriend jeans.

 

A street full of cars line the neighborhood and the driveway. Music blaring from the house can be heard a block away. There are random people making out on the lawn, some smoking, some passed out already.

 

Jeongyeon laughs and Momo rolls her eyes, so typical.

 

The house is filled with pretty girls but only the girls from Alpha Phi wore bunny eared headbands to distinguish themselves.

 

A cute blonde haired bunny eared girl winks at Momo and she smiles at the unknown cutie.

 

They head to the kitchen to get drinks and immediately notice Chaeng, back leaning on the wall talking to some mysterious girl.

 

Chaeng props herself straight and waves at the two. The other girl turns around and smiles, “Hey whats up, I’m Yeri” and shakes their hands.

 

Chae puts her arm around Yeri’s shoulder. “She goes to a different school.” It is no wonder they’ve never seen this girl before. She’s probably the new girl Chae is dating.

Ever since Chae cut her hair short, she’s been luring girls left to right. That handsome haircut of hers has an ego of its own. 

 

Maybe Momo should get a handsome haircut too, that way Nayeon would notice her.

 

If Chaeng is here, then Tzuyu is probably here too.

 

The house is vibrating and the music is blaring loudly.

 

Momo takes a sip of her mixed concoction, trying to control her intake. “I’m going.. outside for some air okay?” And Momo slips away from the group.

 

Chaeng, Yeri, and Jeongyeon decide to down shots together until the bottle empties. Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa, Rose, Jackson, Jimin, Irene, Seulgi, Sejeong, Jihyo and Dubu join them when they begin to play truth or dare. Jeongyeon volunteers to go first, and targets Chaeng. It’s evident that Chaeng is buzzed and chooses dare. Jeongyeon laughs and says “I dare you to kiss Yeri.” The group of friends start to rowdy up, clap, and yell woo. Chaeng puckers her lips and pecks Yeri on the cheek. “No, no, nooooo, it’s got to be on the lips!” Jeongyeon interrupts and pointing at her own lips to emphasize lips. Yeri blushes and her face turns as red as a strawberry. She covers half her face with one hand and the other fanning herself. Chaeng laughs out loud because she can’t believe she picked dare, maybe she should’ve chose truth instead. Everyone watches with eagerness, eyeing the two. “Kiss her! Do it!” Jackson chants. Chaeng swooshes her hair back, scoots up, and leans into Yeri’s face and shares a gentle kiss. Sejeong hugs herself and lets out a squeal. Rose and Lisa screech. And the others “OUUUUU-AHHHHH” and “WAHHH”.

 

The night is young, and Nayeon enters the kitchen with an empty bottle of Jameson.

Seeing the group of familiar faces, she stops and observes. Lisa and Jennie share a cute truth of ‘I like you’. “Nayeon! Truth or dare,” Jennie shouts and she chooses truth. “Truth is, I’m fun when I’m drunk, you wouldn’t be able to handle me,” Nayeon loses her composure and bends down to laugh in embarrassment. “Woo! Drink up then” Jimin screams and everyone raises their drinks to cheers.

 

Nayeon glances at Jeongyeon. “Having fun? Thanks for coming to the party…by the way where’s your ‘friend’?”

 

Jeongyeon points in a direction then whirls her hand in a circle above her head because obviously she’s lost Momo and has no idea where that girl could be, “wait, uh, she’s here…somewhere…haha.”

 

Nayeon searches the party for a particular someone, but doesn’t find the girl she’s looking for. She walks out the front door in hopes of a miracle. Instead she see’s smokers, some people making out, and these dudes passed out on the grass. A buzzed Nayeon goes to check if they’re okay, slapping them silly to awaken them, “fool wake up!”

 

Momo sits alone on a bench in a dim lit corner listening to the fading sounds of music.

 

Sitting and leaning forward, legs wide, elbows on her knees, huffing the air out of her lungs, she scans her cup and shakes it in a circular motion, swirling and mixing its content once more.

 

The bench suddenly sinks in and she looks up. Tzuyu appears in front of her again. A smudge of panic suddenly overcomes her.

 

What does she want this time??

 

The beautiful girl appearing before her has the nerve to sit alongside her. But, Momo notices that she’s parted her hair in a different way than usual, which accentuates her face.

Momo huffs and takes a big gulp of her drink then sits back. “I figured you’d be here, what do you want?”

(Perfect timing…)

 

Tzuyu grabs Momos face and yanks it towards her, so their eyes meet.

 

“Stop avoiding me, I’ve been trying to talk to you,” she says angrily.

“You could’ve texted me or called, if you wanted to talk” Momo utters aggressively.

 

Her stomach churns, knotting itself, her head is throbbing, and anger is raging inside of her.

Her conscience tells her to relax and to take another gulp, and she does so finishing her entire drink. The raging pit inside her cools down and she has become more relaxed.

 

“…its not what you think it is” Tzuyu’s voice reiterates in her head.

 

Tzuyu contemplates whether she should give Momo an excuse, tell her the whole truth, or how she truly feels. Plus their relationship didn’t really come to an end, things happened, words were left unsaid, and feelings were left unresolved.

 

Tzuyu's brow arches as she searches for words to say to Momo because there’s just so much to say, she doesn’t know where to begin. Excuse? Truth? Feelings?

 

Tzuyu moved suddenly because of her mom. Her company was acquisitioned but things fell thru and eventually her mom needed to liquidate her assets. And she didn’t want people to know at that time, so that’s why she didn’t say anything to anyone including Momo whom she trusted most.

 

“My phone got disconnected when I got back to Taiwan and all my contacts were lost,” she says truthfully.

 

Tzuyu sighs and hesitates, “it’s not that I didn’t want to speak to you, I did, I mean I do. I miss you. I miss you more than you can imagine. I missed us. Things never ended completely for us and I don’t want it to yet…”

 

If Tzuyu didn’t lose all her contacts, she would still want to meet face to face with Momo to tell her this. And Tzuyu is the type to conceal her feelings and hide her tears. Tzuyu is always quiet and suppresses her feelings. Like Momo, she can hold a bitch face, be tough, but is soft at the same time.

 

One thing Tzuyu loved most about Momo is her patience. She would give Tzuyu all the time of her day and be ever so patient with her. Even when Tzuyu has her off days and doesn’t really want to talk, Momo would sit with her or give her space until she was ready to say something.

 

Momo’s heart sinks, hearing Yoda spill her feelings to her. But there it is “…it’s not what you think.”

 

Tzuyu begins to speak again, holding her breath. This time she scoots closer to Momo and holds her left hand, because she wants to clarify the situation with Sana. Tzuyu tears up and Momo doesn’t know how to comfort her. Momo doesn’t want to cross boundaries even though Tzuyu held her hand first. So, she just looks at her ex’s tear filled eyes. Tzuyu blinks as tears slide down her cheeks, “that day with Sana,…” But, before she could give her explanation,…

 

A drunk and oblivious Sana appears from the edge of the house, interrupting the two. She’s had too much to drink because clearly the poor girl can’t even walk straight, stumbling upon her own words, and then crying. Obviously, she was eavesdropping and heard everything Tzuyu said to Momo.

 

Sana notices them holding hands, but Momo quickly lets go.

 

Momo’s drink starts to settle in her stomach and her face flushes red, the rage begins to boil again. Her hands tighten and her knuckles bulge. She automatically throws herself upwards at the sight of Sana. She could kick this girl’s ass right now even with her busted and bandaged hand. But she holds back, and crushes her cup instead with all her strength and it crumbles to the ground.

 

She could’ve told Sana to go fuck off, but Momo storms back in the house, forgetting about Tzuyu. 

Shockingly, Sana and Momo used to be close friends then they met Mina, and the three became really close.  

 

Momo rushes to the front door and ignores everyone in sight and continues walking, only staring at what’s in front of her. Too focused at what just happened, she walks past Nayeon without realizing it.

 

Nayeon finally see’s the girl who she’s been looking for the whole time.  But Momo is marching away from the house and down the street with a bandaged hand. She wonders if Momo gave someone a black eye just now and why she looked upset.

 

The angry girl walks down the street and beeps her car keys to unlock the door. Nayeon follows her soon after. Forgetting that Momo came with Jeongyeon and that she’s had a drink, she can’t leave yet.  Momo sits in the car, gripping the steering wheel like she’s about to yank it off the dash. She releases the steering wheel, reclines her seat, and closes her eyes with her hands on her forehead, trying to calm down.

 

A knock on her window startles her. And she unlocks the door thinking its Jeongyeon. A dark long hair girl enters the car and its Im Nayeon. Momo chokes, ”h-h-hi?” looking confused.

 

Why is Nayeon in her car? Should Momo act tough? She’s emotionally drained though.

Nayeon smiles brightly, pretending she doesn’t know her, “you’re Momo right?”

 

Some of Momo’s spirits lift as she see’s Nayeon beautiful smile. “If I say no, will you get out?” Momo laughs and confirms that she’s ‘the one and only Momo’.

 

“So, who did you hit this time?”

Momo gives Nayeon a puzzled look, “no one, why would I hit someone?”

Nayeon explains further, “well you have quite the reputation as the girl who acts tough. I went to a couple parties months ago and supposedly this chick beat up these guys. I’m sure you did what you did because you’re a caring person to the point where you want to defend or protect your friends. Plus, my friends were talking about the incident and that the girl’s name was Momo. So it must be you, and judging by the looks of your hand it looks pretty messed up. But it’s nice to finally put a cute face to that name. ”

 

Momo secretly smiles because Nayeon just called her ‘cute’.

 

“So about that hand,” Nayeon asks again.

“I hit a brick wall cus I was sad.”

 

Nayeon begins to pry, becoming interested in Momo, “and why were you sad?”

 

Momo exhales, thinking if she should honestly tell Nayeon that she’s depressed and being tough isn’t really who she is or was. And in that split second without thinking, Momo tells Nayeon. She reacts by laughing in her face.

 

“I just saw my ex earlier, and now you’re laughing at me, get out of my car, I don’t need this bullshit” Momo says angrily and unlocks the door, though it wasn’t locked before, to hint that Nayeon should leave.

 

Nayeon clicks the button to relock the doors, indicating that she’s not going anywhere or leaving. “Sorry, it’s just what’s there to be depressed about?” “Don’t be tough then, just be you, be yourself.”  

 

Momo’s eyes meet Nayeon’s, “you don’t know me, therefore, you don’t understand.”

Nayeon continues to pry, “I could get to know you…try me.”

“Besides, pretty girls like you don’t look at girls like me” Momo adds totally rejecting herself.

 

A confused Nayeon furrows her brow, feeling offended, “girls like me? And how do you know what kind of a girl I am?” Momo lists the rumors and facts about Nayeon as if she’s some celebrity and she sure is getting a laugh out of this. 

 

Their chat becomes more serious and Momo realizes that Nayeon is what everyone says she is but better. Having spent over half an hour with her already, Momo isn’t upset anymore and feels somewhat bubbly.

 

Nayeon is actually different, and her existence makes Momo feel at ease, to be exact: comfortable.

 

“Is it because I’m pretty?” Nayeon implies.

“Uh, yeah...you’re a face turner, in a good way.”  Momo confirms her rhetorical question. The ‘compliment’ makes Nayeon’s bunny teeth appear. Momo licks her lips as her eyes shift from Nayeon’s teeth to her lips.

 

Everyone thinks Nayeon is beautiful, and beautiful people can be intimidating, therefore, approaching her can be difficult, and starting a conversation too.

 

“I just let the rumors spread, I don’t confirm or deny any of it and let people think whatever of me.” Nayeon laughs, “Can I tell you a secret?”

 

Momo stares at her, “I may look intelligent, but I’m not as smart as you think I am..,” Ratting herself out. Nayeon says with a hand over her mouth before bursting into laughter, laughing at her confession, “Jisoo and Jennie are the brains, I’m like the glue that binds us all together.”

 

Nayeon is enjoying the car conversation with Momo.

 

Momo’s butt buzzes and she reaches for her phone to check who it is.

 

(11:45:05) Jeongyeon: wHertee afE…;’ yiu?> Cam yi0 g3t Ne3”?/

 

Jeongyeon is seriously drunk, I think she’s asking where I am. Their conversation ends and they both return to the house. Half the party guests are gone, a fourth of the others are either asleep on the floor or couch, passed out, and the rest is helping to clean up.

The party must be over.

Momo budges Jeongyeon to wake her. She’s passed out on the kitchen table with funny drawings all over her face. Jeongyeon wakes and starts acting like a baby, crying, and clinging onto Momo, “I thought you ditched me!” Nayeon pats Jeongyeons head and laughs.

 

Momo carries Jeongyeon on her back.

 

She helps open the door for Momo. And the strong girl turns around, wording a ‘thank you’.

 

“See you, Hirai Momo” and Nayeon closes the door.

 

 

How did Nayeon know Momo’s last name was Hirai?

 

Momo realizes that she should’ve asked Nayeon for her number when they chatted in the car. They both were buzzed and that influence would’ve helped..a lot. And she wouldn’t see Nayeon until Tuesday since it’s Sunday today.

 

Momo wishes time could go by faster, the days could speed up until its Tuesday.

 

She rethinks about the conversation they had in the car. Momo’s inner voice speaks to her, “she said I was cute” …”and Tzuyu?”

 

Does Momo want to know the real reason behind Sana and Tzuyu kissing?

 

She had forgotten about the incident with Tzuyu and her confession during the party. She also hasn’t really thought about Tzuyu since the party. Momo should ignore her now that she knows the popular girl has taken an interest in her.

 

The mind games that Momo’s heart play really fucks her up, they screw with her mind. Unsure about how to feel again for Tzuyu, she knows her main focus should be Nayeon.   

 

The weekends are cleaning days. Jeongyeon is vacuuming the apartment. She enters Momo’s room to vacuum her room also.

“Yo, what happened to you at the party? After you said you were going out for some air I didn’t see you at all..where did you go?”

 

“I was at the party, I didn’t go anywhere,” Momo explains.

 

Jeongyeon shrieks and cuts in “we were playing truth and dare and oh my gosh, you should’ve seen little Chaengie!, that Yeri girl she was with, they kissed! AND they’re dating!”

 

“I kissed Nayeon yesterday” Momo jokes.

Jeongyeons eyes widen…and Momo smiles.

“I’m messing with you, but she did sit in my car and we did have a decently nice conversation, she’s quite different…, then Tzuyu talked to me and confessed her feelings when I had stepped out for air, and she held my hand for a brief moment, then Sana showed up drunk.”

 

“And then??” Jeongyeon staring eagerly, waiting for Momo to spill.

 

“And then nothing… that was that, and then I had to pick up your drunk ass,” Momo declares.

 

Jeongyeon fiddles the back of her hair signaling that it’s her fault that nothing magical happened between her and Nayeon. Feeling sorry, she hugs Momo tightly and apologizes. But at least now Nayeon notices her.

 

 

Group therapy will start soon and there aren’t as many people this time as the last session. People come and go but Momo and Mina never miss a session.

 

Momo grabs a cup of coffee for Mina and herself, and a treat before sitting down.

 

She breaks the cookie in half to give the piece to Mina.

“Are you going to share today?” Momo whispers.

Mina shakes her head no and stares at the cookie and sips her coffee.

 

They both indulge in the cookie patiently waiting for the support leader to start.

Mina is such a soft and fragile soul. She is a delicate flower with beautiful petals.

The first time Mina shared her story she burst out in tears in front of everyone. The words coming out her mouth were too much to handle. When she talked about her transition during her move, she began to choke up. And when she mentioned her parents, especially her mom, that immediately made her cry.  She missed her mom so much.

Then there was this one time she shared her story and cried again. Because she practiced so hard to perfect her dance for a gymnastic competition, and she gave it her all but didn’t place. But knowing that she put in all her efforts, she still didn’t feel like she did. And so she beats herself up for that.

 

This time, Momo raises her hand first to show the support leader she would like to volunteer and speak.

 

With Nayeon on her mind and a little confidence, Momo heads to the front.

 

“Hi my is Momo, last time I came up here to share my story for the first time and today’s my second. First steps are always the hardest, but its progress. Today, I’m feeling a little better than usual. My mood hasn’t been as sporadic. I’ve been feeling somewhat happy. Recently, someone told me I should simply be myself. I shouldn’t need to please others or feel that I’m not good enough. And I think I will take that persons advice and start being myself. I don’t wish to be tough, sad, or angry all the time anymore. I want to get better. That is all, thank you.”

 

And Momo quickly strolls back to her chair. Mina air claps for her because she can see the change in Momo from last week’s session. She’s seeing a difference in Momo’s face and behavior.

 

The meeting is coming to an end and everyone slowly disperses.

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow” Mina calls and hugs Momo a goodnight.

 

Momo slowly strolls, passing the library to the lot where she parked.

 

“Are you stalking me now?” a familiar voice jokes. And Momo glances back at the pillar. This long hair girl is leaning on the side of the pillar with her phone to her face trying to hide behind the rectangular device. And Momo makes out the girl immediately and they both laugh.

 

“What are you doing here so late?” She asks amusingly looking in Momo’s eyes.

She could ask the same back to Nayeon. But chooses to jokingly provoke Nayeon instead, “I was waiting for you.”

Nayeon embarrassingly smiles and covers her mouth with her hand.

 

“No but seriously, you promise you won’t laugh at me again? If I tell you?” Momo smirks and Nayeon doesn’t laugh.

 

Momo proceeds to tell Nayeon that she attends the free group therapy meetings provided by the school and a little bit about it.

 

Nayeon stares at her phone and randomly hands it to Momo. The dial screen flashes back at Momo and its clear that Nayeon is asking for her number.

 “Give me your number,” Nayeon says forthrightly.

 

Is Nayeon telepathic too? Can she hear Momo’s thoughts??

 

Momo gladly inputs her number and hands the phone back to her. “I’m heading home it’s late, do you need a ride?” Momo asks nicely.

She wouldn’t want Nayeon to be walking home alone, now that it’s dark out, and worrying about her safety.

 

But the pretty girl declines and tells her that she’s waiting for Jennie. “See you tomorrow” she winks and waves at Momo.

 It’s obvious Nayeon has taken an interest and liking of Momo.

 

Momo turns off the ignition and sits in her car for a second before getting out to enter her apartment. She checks her phone, but no messages or calls.

 

The door slams behind Momo startling Jeongyeon who is cooking in the kitchen.

Jeongyeon is grilling beef and boiling ramen. The delicious smell fills the room and Momo’s stomach begins to rumble. She’s starving. Momo helps to prepare the side dishes and sets up the table and gathers their utensils.

 

Both of them dig into the delicious hot food, slurping the noodles, and eating lettuce wrapped in beef.

 

“Nayeon has my number, but she hasn’t texted or called me?” Momo says with ease.

Jeongyeon laughs because she could easily give Momo her number but doesn’t, “maybe she’s busy, give her some time” Jeongyeon replies.

 

She lies in bed with a full belly, feeling content. Good food makes Momo happy.

The silence complements her and she soon falls asleep holding her phone.

Momo wakes from her food coma sleep checking her phone for the time.

 

2:05 A.M. with three missed texts from an unknown number. And she knows its Nayeon.

 

(1:25:49) Nayeon: Knock knock!

(1:32:10) Nayeon: Hey “stalker” haha.

(1:40:59) Nayeon: …you must be sleeping already.

 

Momo wonders if she should reply back to Nayeon since the last text was about 20 minutes ago…But maybe she is sleeping as well? She tests her luck and does it,

 

(2:07:10) Momo: Who’s there?

 

Nayeon is having a midnight snack and hears her phone buzz on the table. She smiles because it’s the Hirai girl.

 

Thinking of a flirty reply, she responds…  
(2:08:01) Nayeon: Im.

(2:08:40) Momo: Im who?

(2:09:06) Nayeon: Im the only one you need.

 

Nayeon is so assertive.

The joke takes 5 seconds to register in Momo’s head because ‘Im’ is her surname.

Momo blushes at the screen because her joke is so corny.

 

 

Momo virtually knocks back in return. And the corny girl plays along.

(2:11:23) Momo: Knock knock!

(2:12:01) Nayeon: Who’s there?

(2:12:20) Momo: Hirai.

(2:12:55) Nayeon: Hirai, who?

(2:13:20) Momo: ‘Hirai’ am, waiting, for you.

 

Nayeon smiles so hard her teeth are the first to appear.

 

Nayeon doesn’t reply back leaving Momo hanging in the middle of the early morning. And Momo doesn’t bother, because that cute bunny needs to hibernate for the time being.

 

Momo sits quietly in her seat whilst Jihyo and Jeongyeon discuss homework. And she takes a second to analyze her healing hand when she had stupidly punched a brick wall.

 

The swelling around Momo’s knuckles has lessened, and the bruises have turned from big blue and red spots to smaller fading green and yellow circles. The scrapes and peeling have turned to annoying ugly scabs.

 

The itch is getting to Momo and she decides to push on her scabs instead of peeling them. She is so focused on her hand that her eyes zoom in closely, unaware of her surroundings.

 

A finger pokes Momo on the right shoulder, startling her. She quickly jolts upward almost hitting her forehead with her bruised hand. Of course it’s Nayeon, and she detours past Momo’s desk before arriving at her own in the front of the class. The lack of sleep is apparent on both of their faces as the bags under their eyes look like semi-bruises. But Nayeon still looks beautiful as ever. 

 

(11:45:09) Momo: What are you doing later? Want to lunch?

(11:46:02) Nayeon: Sure!

 

The clock strikes noon and class is over. Momo patiently waits outside for her and they can’t stop throwing cheesy smiles at each other. Jeongyeon gives Momo the eye and smiles because she knows what is going on.

 

They walk side by side to the cafeteria to buy lunch.

The sun is so bright today it blinds Momo and so she looks at the ground the whole time following Nayeon closely as a guide.

 

Nayeon squints forcing creases on the bridge of her nose, and waves to Chaeng. But the other girl waves at them but she doesn’t recognize her. “Momo, someone’s waving at you,” she says, and Momo gazes up. She stops in her tracks and grunts because Chae and Tzuyu are walking towards them. Nayeon notices her sudden change in expression, “who’s that?”

It’s too late for them to walk backwards…and Nayeon scans the tall slender girl.

Momo puts her hand on her forehead to partially cover herself. “That’s my…ex….” saying quietly under her breath. They’re approaching closer, and Tzuyu’s face becomes more visible to Nayeon. “Wow your ex is a smoking ACE,” Nayeon murmurs.

 

 In an attempt to save Momo from an awkward situation, she instantly grabs onto Momo’s upper arm.

 

Chae and Nayeon exchange hellos.

Nayeon throws her right hand out to initiate a handshake. “Hi, I’m Nayeon, you look really familiar…” she says scrunching her brow.

Tzuyu’s eyes venture to Momo’s arm then to Nayeon’s eyes. She half smiles and shakes Nayeon’s hand vigorously in return, “I’m Tzuyu.”

 

And Nayeon now remembers her face, she was at her party the other night, but she still doesn’t know her.

 

The two pretty girls begin to have an awkward stare down.

Chae and Momo’s head quietly shake left and right gesturing for her to go left and they’ll go right.

 

“Oooookay,” Chaeng chuckles, and the silence breaks, and the couples walk away to their supposed destination.

 

“Well that was awkward, but your ex is sooooo pretty…” Nayeon answers truthfully.

Momo feels annoyed and answers back truthfully also, “she’s pretty, but you’re prettier.”

 

Nayeon’s heart instantly flutters hearing the compliment, especially from Momo.

 

They sit across from each other eating their lunches.

Nayeon examines Momo’s emotionless face.

 

Something must be bothering Momo, and Nayeon is desperate to figure her out.

 

The hungry girl is quietly playing and twirling her noodles. 

 

Nayeon clears her throat, “what’s wrong? You weren’t like this before we saw them.”

 

Nayeon can read Momo’s face and it’s obvious that her ex fazes her.

 

Momo is thinking about Tzuyu even though she shouldn’t. Nayeon deserves all of Momo’s undivided attention.

The emotionless girl ignores her caring question and then slurps her noodles.

She pauses, “thanks for doing that, you know…grabbing onto my arm.”

 

The night on the bench, and Tzuyu’s confession recaps in Momo’s head.

Momo snaps back to reality because she’s having lunch with Nayeon.

 

It is without a doubt that Momo does have feelings for Nayeon but just doesn’t really know what to feel for Tzuyu as she’s constantly lingering in the back of her thoughts. She is contemplating whether she should come clean about Tzuyu and her from the get go and answer her question from earlier... Though she hasn’t lied to Nayeon or has anything to hide from her, for that matter. 

 

Speaking with Nayeon makes Momo feel at ease. It’s odd. She speaks to Jeongyeon and tells her everything too but its not the same as it is with Nayeon. Her presence makes the Japanese girl feel ‘normal’. And she doesn’t hold back, she tells Nayeon everything about her and Tzuyu and what had happened, and then that night at her party.

 

She listens carefully before saying anything and finishes her food, “Mm, so you still like her then?”

Again, Momo could tell Nayeon the truth or a lie, but Momo doesn’t give her a straight answer nor does she lie to her…“I still care about her, I mean the girl has a special place in my heart because she is my first love..”

 

 

The two girls have been texting each other non-stop from morning to night. And when they can’t sleep they video chat until one falls asleep first. Their bond is so strong its growing into something beautiful.

 

Winter is passing and spring is around the corner and the flowers are slowly erupting.

After several dates with Nayeon, Momo finally grew the courage to ask Nayeon out.

 

Trying to top Nayeon’s corniness, Momo had thoughtfully planned out how to ask her to be her woman, with the help of Jeongyeon of course.

Jeongyeon picked up Nayeon and brought her to their apartment, giving her an envelope as she got out the car. Jeongyeon quickly texts Momo to tell her she’s on the way.

 

She opens the envelope to find a bunch of notecards with their text messages and photo cards of them together on their dates. She approaches the door and a note that says ‘OPEN’, and she enters the cozy apartment. She laughs so hard she begins to tear up. She takes out her phone and snaps a quick photo of Momo.

Nayeon squeals, “how cuteeeee!”

 

Momo is dressed in a ridiculously huge blood orange rectangular door costume with a gold handle. Her small face centered inside the square and she breaks out in uncontrollable laughter. “KNOCK KNOCK!” Here (Hirai) I am, Im (I’m) the only one you need, am I the only one YOU need?

 

Nayeon grins shaking her head to agree.

Feeling so embarrassed dressed as a door, Momo wasn’t sure what Nayeon would say. 

 

She knocks on Momo’s chest playfully as she is the door, and hugs the huge door and sweetly pecks her on the lips. 

 

 

For Momo, seeing Nayeon in class isn’t enough.  Besides it’d be suspicious if she kept turning around to peak at Momo every 5 minutes.

 

Momo hasn’t been thinking about Tzuyu either. She shouldn’t anyways. Her priority is Nayeon at the moment.

 

There is a shift in Momo’s personality and behavior. She hasn’t attended the weekly group therapy meetings, missing last weeks and this week’s. Poor Mina.

 

She feels it too, waking up in the morning and not feeling like crap. Nayeon makes Momo feel alive. She gives Momo happy thoughts and drives the depression to a corner. Her episodes aren’t as sporadic either and she hasn’t injured herself since the brick wall accident.

 

Momo exits her room and opens the fridge to find food. Jeongyeon catches her in the act, “can you get me a water please?”

 

Momo gets a drink for herself too and sits next to her roomy.

“There’s a party tomorrow, my chapter is throwing it, go support me okay?”

Momo can’t say no because it’s the fraternity Jeongyeon and Chae are in, therefore she has to go. And if she said no, then Jeongyeon will tell Chae and then Chae will use that promise excuse again. Besides half of the people at the party she knows and are friends with.

 

Will Nayeon go too?

 

Momo would probably need to babysit Jeongyeon again like the last party when she got drunk as hell, and the one before that…

 

(2:30:09) Momo: Are you going to the party tomorrow?

(2:30:20) Nayeon: Do I ever miss a party? Haha. But I have to go anyways because Jeongyeon insisted…:P

(2:30:58) Momo: I can’t wait to see you. :)

(2:31:05) Nayeon: Me too. (:

 

 

They finally arrive at a huge house on the corner with a long driveway with several cars parked out front. Jeongyeon tells Momo to park on the driveway because Hani said it was cool. Music is booming in the backyard, people are screaming excitedly, and partying.

 

Momo furrows her brow, “it’s a pool party?”

“I don’t think so?” Jeongyeon replies back just as confused and rings the bell.

 

The door swings open, “Yo Wuddup,” Hani yells and hugs Jeongyeon first then Momo.

The atmosphere is different than Nayeon’s party. They recognize some of the people at the party and they all hug it out after not seeing each other for some time.

“SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!” Hani says. Jeongyeon, Momo, Chaeng, Yeri, Jackson, SinB, Jihyo, and Mina cock their heads back in unison to take the shots of vodka.

 

Momo grabs her phone to text Nayeon because she doesn’t see her.

 

(8:30:05) Momo: Are you at the party already?

But no reply from Nayeon which is weird.

 

A hand covers her eyes, “guess who?” the mysterious girl asks.

“Nabongz” Momo yells, feeling somewhat buzzed.

 

She turns around and hugs Nayeon tightly, squeezing her till the poor girl pushes back for air. Nayeon throws her arm around Momo’s neck and kisses her hard on the lips. “You drank without me?” Nayeon pouts. Momo smiles hazily back at her.

 

Nayeon clings onto Momo and grabs a shot of vodka with the other and drinks it down trying to catch up to however many shots Momo has had.

 

She leans into her girlfriend flirtatiously and whispers closely clipping her earlobe with her tongue, “if I’m drunk, you wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

 

Momo laughs because it seems as if Nayeon is testing her on purpose, “in that case, drink up.” And Nayeon takes another shot, and another.

Nayeon’s sniffling and her hands are cold.

 

Momo takes off her hoodie and gives it to Nayeon, “what about you?” she says. And Momo reassures her she will be okay and the shivering girl quickly puts on the hoodie.

 

The shots start to slowly wear off and she begins to shiver herself. Momo leaves Nayeon for a minute kissing her cheek to signal she isn’t leaving the party. She proceeds and heads out of the house, closing the door behind her. Before she could make it to her car, a voice startles her and its Tzuyu. Her breath reeks of alcohol.

 

Does this girl ever give up, shit!

 

They can’t be seen together by anyone, especially not by Nayeon. And Tzuyu must be drunk.

Momo knows how emotional she gets. A drunk Tzuyu is not a good Tzuyu. Alcohol robs her innocence and who knows what the young girl is capable of. They’re similar drunks.

 

“You look happy, I’m h-h-happy for you and Nayeon, I hope she’s a better girlfriend to you than I was …” Tzuyu says saddened by her own words.  

“What does she have that I don’t?” and she begins to tear up. 

 

“It’s not what you think it is… that day when you saw Sana kiss me. She confessed to me and said she liked me, I told her I had a girlfriend but she kissed me first, and I pushed her back” Tzuyu finally confesses the truth and wipes the tears from her tired eyes. I wouldn’t have ever cheated on you, I loved you….I still do.”

 

Momo is disturbed by the truth because that day she did quickly turn away after she saw the kiss. She didn’t see Tzuyu push Sana back though. Momo is unable to comprehend the situation and doesn’t know what to say to the crying girl because all she can think about is Nayeon. And the alcohol in her system just creates more fuzziness.

“I can’t talk to you right now Tzuyu,” and she walks back to the house, forgetting about the jacket.

 

Momo searches around the house but no Nayeon in sight.

 

Asking Jeongyeon would be pointless as she is drunk along with the rest of their friends. Finding Nayeon herself would be faster.

 

Momo walks up the stairs and checks the rooms in hopes of finding Nayeon.

She opens the last room with a window facing the pool and she see’s Nayeon talking to some guy. She edges closer to the window to get a better look, and it’s the same guy who had hit on Tzuyu when they were together. This is unbelievable, what the fuck. Momo, clenches her fists, and her rage steadily creeps back, slowly boiling inside of her. She analyzes Nayeon from the window for a couple of minutes, totally feeling enraged from what happened earlier and seeing Nayeon with this guy, just makes it worse. Momo storms down the stairs to the pool. She takes a closer look at the guy but she doesn’t recognize him.

 

“Get your own fucking girlfriend,” Momo yells, angrily jolting for the guy grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him back. And Momo’s strength pushes them both into the pool. The cold pool awakens Momo, and she regrets her actions immediately. She’s caused another scene…Jeongyeon and Hani rush out to see the commotion. Momo tries to get out of the pool but her wet clothes weigh her down.

 

“Hirai Momo! What are you doing???” Nayeon shouts, because she’s just first handedly witnessed a Momo being tough incident. Now Momo feels so stupid for what she’s done, it’s probably the end of her and Nayeon.

 

However, Nayeon helps Momo get out of the pool and apologizes to the other guy and Hani. Hani helps her friend get out of the pool also.

 

Hani is shocked at what just happened, but doesn’t let the situation ruin the party. She is also aware that Momo has issues. “You can borrow my brothers clothes,” as she says to the couple, particularly to Momo. They both go upstairs, grabbing towels from the closet, and closing the door behind them locking it.

 

Momo breaks out in tears and apologizes to Nayeon. “I’m sorry, I’ve embarrassed you…I thought that guy was hitting on you.” She chuckles, “that guy is gay.”

 

Nayeon is such an understanding girlfriend and she finds Momo’s excuse adorable, “you should be jealous more its cute, I like it,” laughing at the drenched girl.

 

Tears fill the wet girls eyes. She tips Momo’s chin upwards.

 

“I wouldn’t cheat on you silly, I know what you’ve been through” Nayeon says reassuringly that she’s with Momo for the long run.

 

And Momo thinks this might be the best time to tell her that she saw Tzuyu outside earlier when she was going to the car, but doesn’t because Momo can’t stop crying. How did she get so lucky with Nayeon?

 

Nayeon helps dry Momo’s face and wipes the tears streaming down her eyes with her bare hands.

“Don’t cry, or else I might cry too! Come on, let’s get you out of these clothes or else you’re going to get sick” she says softly and kisses her lips consecutively.

Momo gets up and throws her arms in the air, wet from head to toe, and her clothes sticking to her skin. Nayeon pulls her in closer, kissing her once more, then gently pushing her back to create some distance, and teasing the sad girl. She finally frees the wet shirt from the girl’s skin, and stares at her bare body.

 

Nayeon’s eyes scan Momo up and down, touching her abs. The athletic girl hardens herself from the touch of Nayeon’s cold fingers and her abs become more defined. Nayeon unbuttons the girl’s pants and forcefully tugs on it to free her.  Goose bumps appear all over Momo’s naked body and Nayeon is turned on.

 

“Its cold, I’m naked, you’re not, and we’ve had several kisses and drinks, are you sure I can’t handle you?” Momo says mocking Nayeon and she laughs out loud.

It’s only fair that Momo see’s Nayeon bare too. She leans in to Nayeon gently kissing her plump lips. And takes off her hoodie and tugs her shirt upwards. The water from her hair drips onto Nayeon’s pale skin, creating a ripple of goose bumps across her body.

There’s no one Momo would want touching her right now but Nayeon.  

 

Momo kneels, unbuttoning her jeans, slowly pulling it down, and she grabs onto Momo to free her ankles. She looks up at Nayeon, whilst holding her thighs and slowly kisses her below the navel and back up to her abdomen, bruising her skin with her lips, marking what is hers. She stands up, her lips tracing where she last left off, and moving onto her chest then neck, leaving love bites all over her smooth skin. Nayeon giggles and Momo stops to look up at her, and folds her arms over the girl’s neck to secure her kisses. The girl playfully pushes Momo’s soft breasts and she falls, back first bouncing the bed, and she let’s out a laugh. Nayeon seductively pounces on top of the helpless girl, gripping her hips in between her legs.  Momo circles Nayeons thighs with her fingers before playfully clawing them. The girl ogles Momo, squeezing her cheeks together to pucker her lips before leaning in to kiss. And her two front teeth latch onto Momo’s lower lip. Momo unpins her hips, freeing herself from Nayeon’s grasp to sit upright and she gently slips her fingers inside the girl. Nayeon quietly moans. Her controlled breathing becomes more louder as the seconds pass, breathing uncontrollably. Momo puts her free hand over her mouth to silence her. Nayeon’s hands tighten and her nails dig into Momo’s legs and she whimpers.

 

The doorknob jiggles and their intimacy breaks. And they hop off the bed; both scurry to put their clothes on. Momo takes her hoodie back and quickly throws it over her head, and folds the towel over her waist to cover her legs.

 

“That’s weird, why is my door locked…” 

 

The door swings open and the two dash out of there, leaving Hani’s brother confused.

 

 

Jeongyeon touches the shivering girls forehead and it’s burning hot.

She grabs a wet towel and applies it onto Momo’s forehead.

 

If Momo didn’t push that guy into the pool that day at the party, she wouldn’t have come down with a fever.

It’s been two days and her fever hasn’t subsided.

 

Nayeon is busy cooking Momo a hearty meal so she can regain her strength and recover fast.

 

Jeongyeon closes the door so their voices don’t awaken her, and goes to the kitchen to peak at the food Nayeon is cooking.

“I made us all dinner, help yourself,” she nicely says to Jeongyeon.

 

Nayeon gives her soup a taste and its perfect. 

 

“How is her fever?” a worrying Nayeon asks.

 

“The same, she’s been shivering, hot and cold at the same time,” Jeongyeon honestly says. 

 

Jeongyeon helps herself to the food Nayeon has cooked. 

The caring girl walks in carrying a tray with hot soup and a bowl of rice for her sick girlfriend.

 

Seeing Momo weak, somewhat saddens her, but on the other hand she can care for her. She doesn’t do it as much as Momo does for her, the taking care of…

But, she always appreciates it. She appreciates Hirai Momo.

 

She helps Momo sit upright but her lazy eyes can barely keep open, reaching for the spoon she misses and dips her fingers into the hot soup. Her eyes instantly awaken because of the quick burn. Nayeon grabs the spoon and feeds her like a baby. Her eyes slowly start closing but she still manages to swallow a few bites.

 

Nayeon feels Momo’s head to see if her temperature has decreased but it’s still hot. Her teeth chatter, and she shrivels up, clinging onto the sheets, “it’s..so…cold…” she says out of breath.

 

This blanket isn’t warm enough. She won’t recover like this, feeling hot one second and then cold the next.

 

She sits the sick girl upright again to undress her, stripping her head to toe, leaving her underwear on.

The sick girl jokingly covers her body, “Ah, I didn’t know you want me like this” and laughs with eyes closed.

“A-are we going to f-fuck…?” Momo says smiling sleepily.

Nayeon laughs at the girls remark, “you’re not getting any better, I’m going to help you recover quicker.”

 

She starts undressing, pants first, then shirt, and hurriedly jumps into bed grabbing the sheets to cover their bare bodies. She cradles Momo, hugging her tightly. Their legs tangle, chest so close their boobs touch, and warmth slowly starts radiating between the two. The sick girl’s head is buried under Nayeon’s chin with her hand resting on the girl’s chest. She pats her poor baby’s head.

 

“Sorry, I couldn’t come earlier, I was busy today..”

“It’s okay, you’re here now, thank you….I love you” Momo says under her breath falling fast asleep. She stops shivering.

 

Her conscience overwhelmingly squeals from hearing Momo say ‘I love you’ and she smiles, falling fast asleep next to the poor girl.

 

“Tzuyu…stop…”

 

Nayeon wakes from Momo’s voice and movements.

The recovering girl breaks out in a cold sweat and wakes in her girlfriend’s arms.

 

Nayeon looks at her, “bad dream?”

She acknowledges Momo’s mumbles, but doesn’t ask about her dream. She trusts Momo, and hearing her say another girl’s name doesn’t bother her.

She sighs, “yeah, I had a bad dream…”

 

Momo decides to tell her she saw Tzuyu again, because this is the appropriate time.

 

After I gave you my hoodie, I went to get a jacket in the car, and I saw her. She was probably drunk but she was crying. She told me about what really happened between her and Sana. Sana confessed her feelings but Tzuyu told her she’s had a girlfriend. Then she told me she was happy for me…and that she still loves me.

 

Nayeon doesn’t say a word but just listens intently.  

She doesn’t look upset, more calm and relaxed than normal.

 

Momo looks at Nayeons eyes waiting for her to say something but nothing…

Helping Nayeon formulate a question and defending herself, “say something…aren’t you going to ask me? Why I didn’t tell you that day, or yet??”

 

Nayeon knows Hirai Momo is a diamond in the rough. She knows this girl is a keeper and that she’s with her for the long run.

 

The calm girl finally speaks, “I didn’t ask because it doesn’t matter,…

I love you Momo, ‘Im’ the only one you need, and you’re the only ONE I need.”

 

 

 

 


	2. Omnia Causa Fiunt

Hirai Momo wakes in Nayeon’s arms. The touch of her skin is soft and smooth. Her long fingers complement her arms and limbs. To Momo, everything about Nayeon is perfect. She’s perfect. Momo lays comfortably restless and wrapped securely next to Nayeon. Though she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at this moment, she’s absolutely parched. And the slightest of movement would probably wake the cute bunny from her sleep.

 

Momo loves to sleep. Sleeping next to the girl she cares and loves, makes her feel extra safe. It makes her feel loved. She loves it when Nayeon coddles her.

 

The tired girl is sleeping with her mouth open and Momo can’t help but silently laugh. Her square pearly whites are so cute like a fluffy bunny. Hirai Momo tilts her head again to peek at Nayeon, lifting her head off the girl’s chest. And immediately Nayeon opens her eyes.

 

“Nabongz goodmorning,” Momo whispers cutely.

Nayeon yawns and brightly smiles at her whilst stretching her limbs.

 

“How’re you feeling?” Nayeon caringly asks.

“Much better, thanks to you, Momo smiles, kissing the girl on her chin.

 

Momo doesn’t know how she’d recover without Nayeon. She would probably still be as sick as a dog if it weren’t for her.

 

Momo slightly remembers what happened even though her memory was a little fuzzy from the fever.

 

Telling Nayeon what happened to her and Tzuyu the night of Hani’s party, then Nayeon stripping her because of her terrible fever, and Nayeon telling her she loves her.

 

Finally getting up from bed, Momo chugs the water bottle on her desk to quench her thirst. Water drips down the sides of her mouth but she doesn’t stop until the entire bottle is empty.

 

Nayeon exercises her wrists in a circular motion and stops to look at the girl.

She must be thirsty as hell…

“You must be hungry,” she states. And Momo scrunches her nose and rubs her stomach.

 

“I’m going to shower,” Momo says biting her lip and eyeing Nayeon, whilst grabbing a set of fresh clothes from her closet.

 

Hoping Nayeon would join her just because, but she doesn’t budge from her bed.

And Momo leaves the room…

 

 

Nayeon checks her phone.

She replies back to Jennie and Jisoo about the group assignment. Feeling slightly agitated about the homework assignment, she gets up from bed and digs through her bag to double-check the due date.

 

Seeing that the assignment is due next week, relief draws upon her.  

 

Nayeon exits Momo’s room and silently walks to the bathroom, trying not to make a peep because Jeongyeon is still sleeping.

 

Im Nayeon grips onto the door handle and slowly turns the knob, quietly closing the door behind her, and locking it. She see’s Momo’s silhouette through the hot mist and she quietly laughs.

 

Quick with her hands, Nayeon pulls the shower curtains forcibly.

A frightened Momo screeches and embarrassingly hugs herself whilst covering her chest.

 

She smirks at Nayeon who begins to take off her clothes, undressing from head to toe. The hot water sprinkles onto the forceful girl as she steps into the shower.  

 

Nayeon smiles innocently and touches Momo playfully, tickling her. She bursts into laughter and steps back. Respectfully grabbing onto Nayeon’s wrists to control the playing girl, but Nayeon moves forth. 

 

Nayeon fiddles her hands not knowing where to go. She grips onto Momo’s waist and leans in, hugging her.  And Momo returns the hug, hugging her so tight, not wanting to let go. Momo rests her head on the babes shoulder.

 

Nayeon makes her feel completely different, and Momo knows she’s changing. Momo wants to love Nayeon with everything she has, with every ounce of strength that’s left in her.

 

“Thank you,” Momo says under her breath.

Nayeon slides her long fingers up and down the girl’s wet back, savoring the moment.

“What for?,” Nayeon asks.

Momo dwells for a second, “for taking care of me, for everything,” while hugging the girl tightly still.

 

Momo dozes off on Nayeon’s shoulder as the water hits the girl’s back. She continues to trace Momo’s soft smooth back.

 

They both have a quiet moment to themselves before Momo lets go of the squeeze. And the sleepy peach stares deeply into Nayeon’s beautiful eyes.

She could melt any second now…

 

Nayeon bunny smiles at Momo, admiring her complexion, and quickly pecks her on the lips. The sleepy girl smiles a second later, she’s slow to react. And she does it again, affectionately kissing her this time. And Momo clings onto her, weak from her kisses. 

 

Momo lathers the soap and applies it onto Nayeon’s back, scrubbing and scratching it clean. Nayeon grabs the soap and covers the rest of herself in it and Momo unconditionally watches her whilst pursing her lips.

“What?” Nayeon questions. Momo shakes her head, “nothing.”

“Turn around,” Nayeon says.

And Momo immediately turns around.

 

She too helps Momo scrub her back. Creating small circles as she scrubs.

 

She hugs Momo from behind, they’re so close that they could hear each other’s breathing. Nayeon’s long and slender hands touch all over Hirai Momo’s body, applying and lathering the leftover soap onto the girl’s front. Momo tenses up, almost bursting in laughter again. Knowing how ticklish Momo is, Nayeon scrubs her neck and purposely bites the tip of her ear gently.

And Momo laughs out loud as she tries to escape Nayeon’s grasp. 

 

 

Jeongyeon eagerly knocks on the door interrupting the two.

“Momo hurry up!” Jeongyeon calls.

And they hurry to rinse themselves clean.

 

Nayeon and Momo scurry out with a towel around their bodies. No Jam jaw drops, shocked to see Nayeon in the bathroom with Momo. And the bunny girl embarrassingly smiles and rushes off to Momo’s room whilst pulling her hand.

 

Seeing their interaction makes Yoo Jeongyeon reminisce the times she had with Myoui Mina. Not just the physical touching but the emotional feeling too. And in that split second with the tiniest ounce of feeling, Jeongyeon misses Mina.

 

Jeongyeon remembers clearly her incident at the dorm that night when she drunkenly confronted Mina. Wanting the girl so badly and feeling frustrated at the same time…it just hurt so much.

 

And since then, Jeongyeon hasn’t really had the courage (or feelings) to fall for anyone else though she owes it to herself. It’s probably why Jeongyeon usually or always goes to parties to drink the pain away. Sometimes even getting shit faced drunk to the point where Momo has to care for her. She trusts Momo the most.

 

Momo is her bestfriend and wing-woman, if not her then who else?

 

Jeongyeon examines her face, getting a good look at pity staring back at her.

Ignoring her pessimistic thoughts, she brushes her teeth to forget them.

 

Nayeon closes Momo’s door and playfully pokes her plump butt, tickling the peachy girl.

 

She runs to the corner of her room to put on her underwear and quickly tosses on an oversized shirt. Her legs uncovered and thighs exposed.

 

Nayeon quickly follows and puts on one of Momo’s shirts, exposing her pale and smooth thighs too.

 

Nayeon relaxes in Momo’s bed, arms open and Momo cuddles with her. She loves it when Nayeon coddles her.

 

Momo inhales, smelling the scent of flowers.

“I love you,” Hirai Momo says under her breath, with her eyes closed.

A little shy, just because she hasn’t told a girl she loves her in years, ever since Tzuyu…

“What?” Nayeon says.

Momo constricts a little…

“I said, I love you…” Momo repeats under her breath but a little louder.

“What??” Nayeon says again.

Momo’s sneaks a look and Nayeon is messing with her.

She smiles at Momo’s squinted eyes.

“I heard you, I just wanted to hear it again,” Nayeon says laughing.

 

It’s the start of a new semester (even though it doesn’t feel that way) and Jeongyeon feels alone. She doesn’t even have one class with Momo. But thank goodness she shares a class with Nayeon.

                                 

Jeongyeon is unfocused; the past is running through her mind. She sits in class staring at the front, but it’s a blur. She’s zoning out from whatever the professor is saying because all she can think about is Myoui Mina.

 

After witnessing Nayeon and Momo showering together this morning, it just brings back memories. The precious moments she had with Mina. Jeongyeon misses the feeling of wanting someone and to be wanted.

 

But it just hurts, its not fair.  Life’s not fair.

 

Jeongyeon is still unfocused, she packs her things into her bag like a robot, and walks out of class.

She needs some air.

 

She leisurely walks across campus, taking her time, contemplating if she should or not. If she should go to the east side of campus where she brought Mina once. Her heart tells her don’t go there’s nothing to see, but her legs automatically walk as if it has a mind of its own.

 

 

Yoo Jeongyeon see’s the dirt trail from afar. She sighs because there really is nothing to see, and it’s been that way for a while. Fighting with her conscious, she stands there for a good minute recapping the time she brought Mina there to see the beautiful cherry blossoms. She sighs again, a moment of happiness and a moment of intangible pain.

 

Hirai Momo walks across campus in hopes to meet up with Nayeon to surprise her. She sees a short-haired girl and she knows exactly who it is.

 

“Jeongyeon!” Momo calls excitedly from afar. But Jeongyeon doesn’t even turn around or flinch.

 

Momo walks towards Jeongyeon who is standing there frozen, eyes fixated on a spot.

“What are you looking at? Aren’t you supposed to be in class??” Momo says behind Jeongyeon’s back.

The frozen girl jumps at the voice behind her with her hand on her heart, “shit, you scared me.”

“Well you were standing here like an idiot, and I called your name, but you didn’t turn around. I thought maybe I called the wrong person,” Momo says laughing.

“I was going there but,…” Jeongyeon says as she points at the direction of the dirt trail.

“What’s there? Want me to walk with you?” Momo kindly asks.

And before Jeongyeon could respond, her feet automatically walk and Momo follows her.

 

They both walk up the dirt path and arrive at what used to be beautiful cherry blossoms.

 

“I never been here before, there’s…nothing?” Momo blurts.

She fixes her bangs, confused at why Jeongyeon would walk there or stare in that direction.

Yoo Jeongyeon stands there staring at the trees and the benches.

“Because its not winter or spring,” Jeongyeon states.

“They’re cherry blossom trees,” Jeongyeon adds.

Unsure of how to tell Momo even though she usually tells her everything…Jeongyeon hesitates. She doesn’t want to make Momo feel uneasy either for being there.

 

“I came here with Mina when we dated,” Jeongyeon utters.

I…I…kind of…miss her….” Jeongyeon says under her breath, confessing to Momo.

“I know we are all friends, but you should tell her,” Momo advises.

“Being honest is important!” Momo says smiling.

“I know,” Jeongyeon frowns.

 

Jeongyeon tries to change the topic and she brings up Jackson’s party instead.

“Jackson’s having that frat party tonight, I’m probably going? Want to go with?” she asks.

“Eh, I don’t know, I’m still a little sick, and I don’t know Jackson that well,” Momo says doubtfully.

“You met him before at the last party, he’s a chill guy,” Jeongyeon answers.

Momo’s eyes droop as she tries to recall the familiar name with a face.

Jeongyeon usually drags Momo to the parties she attends.

“Hm, probably not though, I’ll probably take medicine and call it a night,” Momo tiredly says.

“But I have to go, I’m supposed to meet Nayeon, I’ll see you at home,” Momo says hugging Jeongyeon, giving her reassurance.

 

Jeongyeon gives Momo half a smile and watches her walk away down the dirt path.

 

She takes a seat at the bench, where she and Mina once sat. Resting her hands in her lap, she helplessly stares at the naked cherry blossom tree. And she recaps that eventful day.

 

How can she forget even if it’s been years? Mina is just so beautiful.

 

Momo coughs hard, still recovering from her sickness.

 

Leaning against the cement wall waiting for Nayeon to get out of class, she feels extremely excited to see her.

 

Maybe she could take her to see the cherry blossoms too during winter since the new semester has started. Im Nayeon is like a beautiful flower and the thought of her being a flower makes Momo laugh.

 

Looking like a fool, Momo silently laughs aloud. Nayeon is the only cherry blossom in her eyes. Beautiful and pretty.

The hall suddenly fills with noise and students exit class chattering and walking together. She spots Nayeon with Jennie and Jisoo, and she observes her. Hugging and waving her friends goodbye, Nayeon shifts her attention to Momo.

 

Nayeon notices Momo leaning so cool against the wall and gives her a smile. Momo notices too and gives her baby a silly face.

 

Nayeon cheeses hard as she approaches Momo.

“Stalking me now are you??” Momo says sarcastically.

“Haha, me? Stalking you? Shouldn’t I be asking you that??” Nayeon remarks with her hand trying to grab Momo’s.

And Momo laughs because she thinks of the time Nayeon once asked her that when she was on her way home from group therapy meeting.

 

They both walk hand in hand towards the campus parking lots.

Nayeon swings her arm, playing around with Momo. It’s not a secret or anything but Nayeon hesitates telling Momo about the party that’s going to happen tonight.

But being the Alpha Phi president, it’s sort of mandatory for presidents to show face. And she still has the group assignment to work on.

Assuming Momo is going because Jeongyeon might go too, Nayeon contemplates. It is mandatory that all chapter presidents are to attend parties and Nayeon hasn’t missed one since.

 

“So…Jackson’s throwing a frat party tonight…,” Nayeon pauses.

“I know, I’m not going,” Momo asserts.

“Oh…well I’m not going either, I’d rather spend it with you,” Nayeon jokes.

Momo’s heart flutters at her response and she squeezes the girl’s hand, but she knows Nayeon has to go.

“I don’t want you to go anyways, there’s probably going to be a lot of meatheads…,” Momo jokingly says back but also with all seriousness.

Nayeon laughs at her response, “but I have to go I’m chapter president.”

“I’ll be okay, maybe Jeongyeon will go too!” she adds to reassure Momo not to worry.

“I know. She’s going,” Momo nods.

As much as Momo would want to go to probably keep an eye on Nayeon, she’s still a little sick. She needs rest.

“Rest up then,” Nayeon caringly says whilst rubbing the girl’s arm.

 

Momo trusts Nayeon just as much as she cares for the girl.

 

Momo beeps the car to unlock the doors and they both hop in the car. She remains quiet during the drive and Nayeon glimpses at Momo.

 

Maybe not going is a good idea, since Momo got into an altercation with another guy at Hani’s party due to a silly misunderstanding. But, if she goes she can keep an eye on Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

 

“What are you thinking?” Nayeon curiously asks.

“Nothing,” Momo lies trying to concentrate on driving. As much as Momo feels bothered by Nayeon going, she doesn’t want to make a fuss either.

It’s not a big deal her conscience repeats.

 

Nayeon grabs Momo’s hand away from the gear box and fiddles with her fingers before holding onto her hand. Breaking Momo’s concentration and distracting her, Nayeon kisses her hand. And Momo smiles as she drives.

 

Nayeon does it again, playfully, and Momo looks at her blushing, giving her a smile in return.

This time Nayeon gently bites Momo’s knuckles. And she winces a little.

She stops and just cups Momo’s hand in her lap. Momo breathes hard, already distracted from Nayeon’s actions, and a little less bothered about the party.

 

This girl is driving her crazy.

 

“…I’m hungry,” Nayeon says.

“Okay, maybe we can order a pizza?” Momo suggests.

Browsing through her phone, Nayeon orders a cheese pizza.

 

Momo parks the car and they both walk to her apartment. Unlocking the door, they both enter and Nayeon checks her phone to see the time the pizza will be delivered.

 

She sits slump on the couch. 

 

“It’ll probably arrive in like 5-10 minutes,” Nayeon yells.

Momo washes her hand and grabs ramen from the cabinet and prepares the pot with water and starts the stove.

 

The pot is boiling and Momo opens the packets and throws the ramen into the pot.

“It smells good, I’m starving,” Nayeon says whilst standing next to Momo.

 

KNOCK KNOCK

 

Nayeon rushes to answer the door. And it’s the pizza man.

Momo puts the pot of ramen on the table and grabs bowls from the cabinet with utensils. Momo stares at the food as she patiently waits for Nayeon.

 

The hungry girl places the pizza on the table and opens the box to grab a slice for Momo first, then herself.

 

Momo is happy. Moments like these make her happy. Nayeon’s presence is all she needs and she’s content with the way things are.

 

Nayeon turns on the TV but Momo keeps eating. When she see’s food all her attention shifts to it. But the only thing besides food that can distract her is Im Nayeon.

 

The door slams, and they both turn their heads to see Jeongyeon walk in.

“Come eat!,” they both call in unison.

Jeongyeon sighs and sits down next to the two, grabbing herself a slice of pizza. Her face is expressionless and she looks tired. Seems as if she’s had a long day.

 

Momo stares at her and doesn’t say anything because she knows what’s wrong with the sad girl. 

 

Blowing on the hot ramen, Nayeon slowly slurps on the noodles, oblivious of what’s going on, she continues to eat and watch TV.

 

Jeongyeon gets up to grab cups from the kitchen and a bottle of cola from the fridge.

 

“What’s wrong with her?” Nayeon whispers.

“She’s having one of those days…,” Momo whispers back shaking her head to end the conversation.

 

Uncapping the cola, Jeongyeon pours the soda for the two including her.

 

“So are you going to Jackson’s party Jeongyeon?” Nayeon randomly asks.

“Yeah…I wish Momo could go too but she’s ‘sick’..cough cough,” Jeongyeon says in a sad but sarcastic tone.

“Oh maybe we can carpool then?” Nayeon suggests.

Momo wouldn’t need to take her, instead Jeongyeon could be the designated driver, and since she is going Momo wouldn’t need to worry about Im Nayeon.

 

“I’m still sick…!” Momo blurts scrunching her nose at her besty.

 

The three continue to eat, Momo fixated on food and the other two have their eyes glued to the TV.

Jeongyeon cleans up after herself and leaves for the bathroom. Having a moment of silence, she stares at her complexion.

Sigh, it’s just one of those days…get it together Yoo Jeongyeon.

Turning on the faucet she splashes water on her face and fixes her short hair.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go?” Nayeon asks again. And Momo nods her head confirming her answer.

 

Hirai lays on the couch, belly full of food, head tilted back resting, and eyes heavy. Nayeon pats Momo’s hair as she waits for Jeongyeon and she likes it. The girl automatically closes her eyes, it’s soothing, and she’s about to fall asleep.

 

Nayeon softly kisses her cheek. And she smiles because she’s happy. Everything about Momo is cute.

 

 

Jeongyeon walks out the bathroom looking refreshed and ready to go. She grabs her set of the car keys and her phone.

 

“You sure you’re not going?” Jeongyeon questions, asking the same thing as Nayeon. 

“Nah, go have fun,” Momo replies, winking her eye knowing Jeongyeon is sad.

“I’ll be back soon!” Nayeon calls and quickly kisses Momo on the lips in front of Jeongyeon.

Nayeon heads for the door, putting on her shoes.

“Please help me look after Nayeon,” Momo quickly whispers.

“Of course,” Jeongyeon mutters, patting Momo’s shoulder as she see’s the worry on her face.

 

The drive to Jackson’s is awkward only because Jeongyeon isn’t feeling up to par.

She shouldn’t feel jealous…but she just misses Myoui Mina. She feel’s utterly empty.

 

And Mina just so happens to fill that void.

 

No ones sat besides Jeongyeon during drives besides Momo. She begins to think of the car rides she used to have with Mina. Every little thing she does or see’s reminds her of Mina. Even though they’re just friends now, she can’t help it.

 

They arrive at Jackson’s and the party is bustling with people. Nayeon politely thanks Jeongyeon and off she goes to meet her friends.

 

Please help me look after her…Momo’s voice trails in her mind. Jeongyeon needs a drink more than anything at this moment.

 

Jeongyeon is such an emotional drunk but she knows her limits. She gave Momo her word, and having a drink or two won’t hurt.

 

The house is crowded with people and the music is playing so loud the walls are shaking. There’s a crowd in the living room and people are shouting. Jeongyeon goes to see what the commotion is about and she spots Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, Rose, and Yeri playing beer pong in teams.

 

Where the hell are the drinks…

Chaeyoung notices Jeongyeon and she immediately waves at her friend. She waves back and leaves to the garage.

 

She see’s Nayeon with a drink in hand, chatting with Jennie and Jisoo and goes towards the three.

 

“Where did you get your drink?” she yells.

Nayeon shakes her head, not hearing anything and she leans in closer to Jeongyeon’s face, and she repeats louder again.

 

And Nayeon yells back pointing to the backyard. Jeongyeon walks to the backyard where it isn’t as loud.

 

There’s a ton of kegs everywhere and guys doing keg stands.

All Jeongyeon wants is a drink right now. Jackson spots her and calls for her.

 

“Want to give it a try,” Jackson kindly asks.

Jeongyeon laughs because there’s no way she could drink beer from a keg upside down.

Feeling a little interested and hesitant, Jeongyeon gives in.

 

Because why not??

 

“How do I go up?” she asks confused.

“Hold the rim of the keg, and Mark and I will push you up and hold you,” Jackson answers.

 

She grips the brim of the keg as if she’s about to lift it and Mark and Jackson lift Jeong’s legs upward, holding her in mid air. And before she could drink the beer she’s upside down and a rush of blood flushes to the top of her head.

 

Jeongyeon puts the plastic straw in her mouth and sucks hard trying to down the beer. But she struggles to swallow the beer and it squirts out her nose and drips out her mouth and onto her face. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she bursts out in laughter.

 

Jackson and Mark put her down and she can’t stop laughing.

“Fun right?” Jackson laughs.

And Jeongyeon nods her head to agree. He grabs a cup, filling it with beer, and passes it to Jeongyeon.

 

Feeling her nerves loosen, Jeongyeon walks back in the house. Nayeon is still in the same spot chatting with her friends.  

 

Nayeon sips her drink, she shouldn’t even be drinking if she doesn’t want to worry Momo. She did tell Momo not to worry and that she’ll be okay…

 

 

Jeong stands in the corner, chilling, drink in one hand. Tracing the rim of her cup with her finger, she looks at everyone and they seem to be having a good time.

 

Jeongyeon wants to have a good time too. She wishes Momo was there, so she can get fucking drunk without having to worry.

 

Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, Rose, Lisa, and Yeri, all walk into the kitchen finding a spot to sit. Mina appears from the back behind Lisa and Jeongyeon quickly looks away. Standing alone is already awkward enough. 

Chaeng walks towards the lonesome girl.

“Why are you standing here?” Chaeng curiously yells.

“Where’s Momo?” she adds.

 

Ignoring her first question, Jeong answers back, “she’s resting she’s still a little sick.”

 

Chaeng sits down at the table next to Jeongyeon and their friends follow. Mina awkwardly stands next to Jeongyeon and they both glance at each other.

 

“Where’s Momo?” Mina randomly asks to break the silence.

Jeongyeon looks at her for a good second and replies back, “home..resting..”

What Mina really wants to ask is ‘how are you’. Having unsettled feelings, Mina sometimes doesn’t know what to say either.

 

Jeongyeon gulps her beer, really wanting to talk to Mina but not knowing what to say sometimes either. And she doesn’t want to sound stupid for saying the wrong thing.

 

“How’re you?” Jeong finally asks.

Mina bites her upper lip, honestly thinking of what to say, “I’m alright.”

“Don’t be awkward, it’s not like we don’t know each other,” Jeongyeon straightforwardly states. And she gently but playfully pushes Mina’s arm.

And Mina looks down laughing, hiding her gummy smile. No Jam nervously smiles at the pretty girl.

 

Mina grips onto Jeongyeon’s arm while she talks and her eyes can’t help but wander.

She feels a little tingle from her touch.

 

She misses this girl. And it’s not fair repeats again.

Both the girls unwind from their drinks they had and actually have a decent conversation.

 

 

It’s late and some people already left the party including Chaeng and her girlfriend, Tzuyu, and Mina. Jackson is passed out in the backyard from keg standing.

 

Jeongyeon thinks if she should have another drink or help Jackson. But that guy looks so comfy on the grass. Surprisingly she’s been holding the same cup for hours. The only music playing is the sound of karaoke and girls singing.

 

Jeongyeon looks at their group from the back as if she’s observing them. It’s obvious they’re all drunk. Nayeon is singing happily, Jennie is dancing to the beat of the song and Jisoo is laughing at Jennie while singing along.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon just stares at Nayeon, so this is what she is like when she’s drunk; it’s a little cute.

Nayeon continues to sing and she see’s Jeongyeon in the back watching her and she runs to her pointing the microphone in her face wanting her to sing along. But Yoo Jeongyeon pushes the microphone away, embarrassed to sing and Nayeon hands her the mic again as she sings aloud. 

“I rather not,” Jeongyeon says under her breath and puts her hand over her mouth, embarrassed.

 

Nayeon frowns, “cheer up buttercup.”

And goes back to the front and sings her heart out.

 

 

Momo wakes with stiffness in her neck from sleeping oddly on the couch. The apartment is quiet, not a peeping sound.

They aren’t home yet…and it’s getting late.

She checks the time and calls Nayeon but no answer. And she calls again but no answer. She decides to text Jeongyeon instead, maybe there’s a better chance she would reply.

 

Momo sits on the couch, feeling bored, and she waits…waits…and nothing.

The quietness makes her feel sleepy and she closes her eyes as she eagerly waits.

 

 

Jeongyeon checks her phone for the time and she see’s a message from Momo.

 

(12:15:50) Momo: What time are you coming home?

(12:45:02) Momo: Is Nayeon okay? what is she doing? She didn’t reply my text…

 

(12:47:43) Jeongyeon: We’ll be home soon, yes she is okay.

 

Jeongyeon is probably the only semi-sober person there. She goes to the backyard to fill her cup with a little more beer. And she see’s Jackson sleeping in fetal position and decides to help the poor fellow. Slapping his arm, Jeongyeon tries to wake him. Helping Jackson to his feet, she helps drag him into the house with his arm over her shoulder.

 

Jeongyeon unhooks Jackson’s arm as he fumbles onto the couch. Nayeon is sleeping like a baby.

 

The semi-sober girl sighs.

 

I’m always taking care of others…her conscience complains.

 

Jeongyeon shakes her head in disbelief. Nayeon looks peaceful when she sleeps. And yet perfectly pretty at the same time. If someone drew on her face she would still look beautiful.  No wonder she’s the talk of Konkuk and the most popular girl. Jealousy dawns on Jeongyeon but she’s happy for Momo. Nayeon is perfect for her.

 

When will Jeongyeon find someone as perfect as Nayeon?

 

She pats Nayeon gently in hopes the girl will wake but no budge. Jeongyeon sits down, then kneeling thinking of how she is going to get Nayeon off the couch. She looks so silly right now and weird in the current position she’s in. Jeongyeon laughs because she’s trying so hard. Jennie wakes and see’s Jeongyeon awkwardly squatting.

 

“What are you doing?” she laughs.

“Trying to figure out how to carry Nayeon since she won’t wake up,” Jeongyeon says.

 

Jennie helps the slow girl and she pulls Nayeon’s arms and pushes her onto Jeongyeon’s back and she stands up. They head towards the door and Jennie kindly helps. Opening the door, Jeongyeon thanks Jennie and heads towards her car.

 

“Momo….I love you,” Nayeon mumbles and clings onto Yoo Jeongyeon neck tightly.

 

Jeongyeon ignores her and continues walking to the car. Scrambling and struggling to grab her keys from her pocket, she manages to pull out her keys to unlock the door. She carefully throws herself in the passenger seat with Nayeon on her back. She thinks reclining the seat would be best so the girl falls back easily and she can also rest. Jeongyeon does as she thinks but the plan fails and they both fall back together with the weight of their bodies. Nayeon’s arms are still clung tight around her neck and Jeongyeon lays on Nayeon for a second, short of breath.

 

The semi-sober girl lets go of Nayeon, unclenching her fingers and closes the car door. She checks her phone and the time reads 1:20 A.M.

 

(1:20:10) Jeongyeon: We are heading home now.

 

There’s no response. Momo’s fast asleep, tired already from waiting for her best friend and girlfriend.

 

Jeongyeon knows better to not drink and drive but she’s only had one drink.

Well 1 and a ½.

It should be okay, her conscience says.

 

She starts the car and buckles Nayeon’s seat belt then hers. Driving away from the curb, she tries to drive smoothly as possible.

 

Nayeon grabs for Jeongyeon’s arm, thinking it’s Momo driving.

 

“Momo, I love you,” she says again.

Nayeon pulls on Jeongyeon’s arm and she ignores it, trying not to think much of it.

The drunk girl calls aloud and grunts, touching and feeling Jeongs arm once more. She tries not to think much of it, so she doesn’t respond.

A minute later, Nayeon ejects herself onto Jeongyeon, touching her hair, petting it softly.

 

Jeongyeon flinches from her touch, not knowing what to do or how to act. Mina use to pet Jeongyeon and she liked it. Liked it so much that it was soothing and comforting. And that’s the way she feels now as Nayeon pets her.

 

She grips onto the steering wheel hard, it’s not right, and she sways away. Grabbing Nayeon’s hand and giving it back to her.

 

“It’s Jeongyeon, were heading home now okay,” she instructs rejecting Nayeon’s touch.

Nayeon peeks but she’s dizzy and her contacts are irritating her eyes. The dizzy girl fixes her seat and rubs her eyes but all she see’s is Hirai Momo.

 

“No you’re not,” Nayeon hysterically laughs. 

 

She’s not in her right mind.

 

 

They enter the apartment lot and Jeongyeon parks the car. She helps the drunk girl out of the passenger seat, closing and locking the door after. Nayeon is somewhat conscious and swaying side to side, but she manages to walk. Shouldering Nayeon, Jeongyeon unlocks the apartment door and kicks the door hard and it slams shut.

 

Momo jolts awake from the couch and she see’s the two. She rushes to help Jeongyeon who looks like she’s about to fall down, and Momo lifts Nayeon from her best friend’s shoulder.

 

“Thank you for taking care of her,” Momo kindly whispers, “I owe you one!”

“It’s okay,” Jeongyeon declines as she thinks about what just happened in the car and walks back to lock the front door.

 

Indeed, she’s definitely had a long day; she’s exhausted. She can’t tell Momo, she just can’t. That’s her best friend. It didn’t mean anything…Jeongyeon repeats in her mind.

 

Momo drags a drunken Nayeon to her room, closing the door behind her. And they both fall onto her bed, Momo on top of Nayeon.

 

Hirai Momo gets up and helplessly stares at her drunk girlfriend. Not sure if she should be upset or worried. Upset that she said she’ll be okay…or worried that she’s drunk to the point where she’s unaware of her surroundings.

 

Feeling slightly angry, Momo ridicules Nayeon’s words “truth is, I’m fun when I’m drunk, you wouldn’t be able to handle me.” And she pinches Nayeon’s soft cheeks pulling them hard, and the drunky grunts whilst turning her face.

 

“Truth is you’re fun alright, I’m sure I can handle you more than you know,” Momo says with a smirk on her face.

 

How can she be mad? Just look at how cute she is even when she sleeps..

 

Like the most caring girl she is, Momo helps Nayeon change. She pulls Nayeon by the arms to posture her upright and the girl half wakes, squinting her eyes.

 

“Hi,” she says smiling with her eyes closed.

“I knew it was you,” she drunkenly smiles.

And she continues to talk with her eyes closed as Momo helps strip her.

Undoing her shirt first, Momo puts her clean oversized shirt over Nayeon. And slowly lays her down, taking off her shorts.

“Jeongyeon took me to the party but how did you take me back,” she says giggling.

“Huh? You’re crazy talking,” Momo jokingly says as she pulls the blanket over Nayeon.

 

Momo coughs several times and swallows her cough pills before fixing her hair, changing, and getting ready for bed also. She turns off the lamp and clicks the night light on.

“Hmmmm,” Nayeon yells.

“How was the party?” Momo mutters and turns to look at Nayeon’s face. The semi-conscious girl peeks at Momo in the dimly lit room and grins.

Im Nayeon reaches for the peachy girl under the sheets, her cold hands grasp onto Momo’s body.

 

And her body automatically freezes from Nayeon’s touch, and she feels so weak.

 

Momo scoots closer, close enough that she could hear Nayeon’s breath blowing against her face.

“I don’t know if I should be mad at you or worried, why didn’t you pick up my call?” Momo says with mixed emotions.

 

Momo is vulnerable when it comes to Im Nayeon.

 

She continues to stare at Nayeon, and sighs. She hard kisses her to forget why she was angry but it doesn’t work.

 

Grabbing Nayeon’s hand off her back, she holds it and squeezes hard after, but it doesn’t lessen her anger either. And Nayeon squeals and wakes to look at Momo who is looking directly at her with sad eyes.

 

Nayeon doesn’t know what Momo wants right now, so she gives her soft kisses. Kissing her consecutively, but Momo eyes are still sad.

“Do that thing you do,” Nayeon innocently whispers.

“What thing?” Momo says pretending she doesn’t know.

She doesn’t want to give in, but it’s so hard.

And every damn time she refuses or tries to she caves, all she wants is to make Nayeon happy. And if Nayeon’s happy then Momo is happy.

 

Nayeon yanks Momo’s hand, and puts it inside her shirt, touching her body all over as she guides the girl, sliding it down her body, down to where she wants it. And Momo allows it for a second.

 

Hirai Momo breathes hard and tries to control herself. If she could run into the wall right now she would but it wouldn’t help. She’s spellbound by Nayeon.

 

She exhales loudly and withdraws her hand, “I don’t want to..right..now…” she regretfully says while biting her teeth.  

 

Turning around she clenches her hands to lock them especially her fingers and she bites her lips, trying to keep her composure.

 

“Fine,” Nayeon sleepily says.

Moving closer to Momo, she hugs the girl and her warmth puts her to sleep.

 

All Momo wants to do is talk. She isn’t even one to argue either. But she feel’s so upset over something so ‘stupid’.

 

 

Nayeon wakes to an empty bed and a raging headache. Her skull is about to split and she somehow doesn’t remember much or barely.

 

 “Good morning,” Momo says as she walks into her room.

“My head hurts,” Nayeon confesses.

“Maybe if you drank a little less,” Momo says whilst holding her breath.

“Someone had a little too much fun yesterday,” she adds.

“I remember singing karaoke with Jennie and Jisoo, then….the party, then…then…being rejected because someone didn’t want to touch me,” Nayeon glares and says sarcastically and laughs.

Momo doesn’t even laugh one bit, and Nayeon knows something’s wrong or she’s probably mad.

“Don’t forget to thank Jeongyeon, she brought you back from the party,” Momo asserts and walks out her room.

 

Nayeon gathers her things and changes into her clothes from yesterday. She now knows Momo is upset and gives her space.

 

She see’s Jeongyeon eating breakfast and Momo across from her.

“Thanks for taking care of me yesterday,” Nayeon respectfully says and bows her head.

 

Jeongyeon recaps last night and how Nayeon touched her thinking she was Momo during the drive back. Trying not to think much of it she can’t help it.

It’s wrong, but she thinks of Nayeon’s touch.

Nayeon’s hands are soft and her skin is smooth just like Mina’s. Jeong peers at Nayeon as she heads for the door, dismissing her thoughts.

 

The sobered girl glances at Momo and walks away from the table towards the door. Putting on her shoes, she leaves, silently closing the door behind her.

 

 

Jeongyeon gives Momo a look that tells her she should go after her.

She’s letting her anger get the best of her.

And Momo grabs her car keys and goes after Nayeon.

 

“Where are you going?” Momo yells.

Nayeon turns around with her hand on her temple, “…home.”

“I’ll take you home,” Momo declares.

Feeling bad because of yesterday so Nayeon respectfully declines.

Momo marches to Nayeon,“I want to,” she implies and grabs onto the girl’s hand dragging her in the direction of her car.

 

She gets into the car and Momo helps buckle Nayeon’s seat belt then hers.

Her memory is catching up to her and Nayeon thinks of last night. Practically flinging herself onto Jeongyeon. She’s embarrassed. She shouldn’t bring it up to Momo anyways, it doesn’t matter, it was just a touch, it didn’t mean anything.

 

But she should apologize to Jeongyeon for acting the way she did.

 

Momo can’t stay mad for long especially when it’s Im Nayeon.

 

It’s quiet and Momo doesn’t speak. Nayeon touches Momo’s neck, knowing the way she is, and it makes her weak.

 

“Are you mad?” Nayeon asks when she already knows the answer.

“I’m sorry,” Nayeon sincerely apologizes. And holds Momo’s hand, kissing it.

 

And Momo gives her a straight answer, “I was.”

“But I was more worried than mad,” she says trying to persuade herself.

Nayeon’s heart sinks from her words.

Momo is just so caring and thoughtful.

 

They arrive at Nayeon’s place and Momo parks in the driveway.

 

Still holding onto her hand, Nayeon takes off her seat belt. They both look at each other and Nayeon smiles.

 

Her smiles contagious and Momo smiles back, and looks down.

 

“I adore you,” Nayeon confesses.

“Okay, see you,” she says smiling and quickly pecks Momo on the lips.

Clinging onto her hand still, she tugs it and Nayeon looks back. Momo catches a last glimpse and then lets go of Nayeon.

 

 

Momo drives back feeling lonely, already missing Nayeon.

 

She’s so attached to this girl, every second, minute, hour and day.

 

Momo places her keys on the counter and Jeongyeon is still sitting at the table staring at her phone.

 

“What are you doing?” Momo wonders. Grabbing a piece of candy from the table.

Jeongyeon pauses…”what? Oh I was reading my messages.”

She exhales, thinking of what to say, “so yeah the party yesterday, Mina was there, we had a decent talk.”

Momo wide eyes her.

“Oh so was little Chaengie and her gf and Tzuyu,” Jeongyeon includes.

 

Hearing Jeongyeon mention Tzuyu’s name doesn’t even phase Momo anymore. She doesn’t feel bothered. She just feels a sense of care for her ex.

 

 

Even though Momo attended the therapy meetings with Mina she didn’t disclose much about her situation with Jeongyeon whenever she spoke or shared her story. The things she knows is from what Jeongyeon tells her. Or whatever and whenever Mina feels like telling her. Otherwise, Momo doesn’t pry.

 

“So did you tell her?” Momo eager asks.

“Tell her what?” Jeongyeon furrows her brow.

“That you miss her and you still like her DUH!” Momo screeches.

“No..you know I don’t express my feelings well when it comes to words,” Jeongyeon admits.

But Momo knows this already and she just rolls her eyes and leaves the table.

 

Like Momo, when it comes to someone they truly and deeply care for Jeongyeon is helpless.

 

Momo enters her room, she slumps onto her bed and texts Nayeon.

 

(12:43:02) Momo: I miss you, already.

(12:45:22) Nayeon: I miss you more.

 

 

Weeks have passed but it feels like the semester has just started and already Momo is feeling stressed and tired of school.

 

Momo hasn’t been spending as much time as she wants with Nayeon.

And Nayeon’s been busy being a perfect straight A student with Jennie and Jisoo.

 

Momo dislikes school but yet she still tries her best. And if it wasn’t for Jihyo’s help, then she probably would’ve still been stuck in another math class.

 

Like Nayeon she too has group projects, and not to mention her group therapy meetings.

 

Since she’s been a member for awhile her and Mina have been promoted to mentors.

Momo should go, she hasn’t put in any hours yet either.

 

 She might even be able to help someone in need or be a good listener.

But when Momo finds the time, all she wants to do is spend it with Nayeon. Even if it includes chilling on the couch, sleeping, or doing absolutely nothing, her presence is enough for Momo.

 

 

Because of Nayeon, Momo wakes up looking forward to each day and feeling alive.

 

Her shift in behavior and personality is improving. And Nayeon makes her want to be a better person. She doesn’t need to be tough anymore, she just needs to be Hirai Momo.

 

Fall is ending and winter is approaching. And soon it’ll snow and the cherry blossom trees will bloom. Momo should take Nayeon to see the cherry blossoms during Christmas it would be cute.

 

 

Plus, Nayeon likes pretty things including flowers and nature. It’s perfect.

 

Momo lays down, exhausted from school, her eyes are dry from reading.

 

She lays in bed comfortably and closes her eyes to rest them.

 

Soon after her phone buzzes, it’s Im Nayeon.

 

(11:30:40) Nayeon: Can you come over??!! I need help….!

 

Nayeon twirls her pencil, not wanting to do work and procrastinates for a little.

 

What in the world does this girl need help with at this hour of the night…

 

And without second thinking or asking, Momo tosses her hoodie on and immediately springs from her bed and runs out the door to her car. Driving like a maniac, she gases the car straight to Nayeon’s.

 

She arrives at the Alpha Phi house. Unable to park on the crowded driveway, so she parks on the curb on the side of the house instead where it’s sort of dark. Momo peeks at Nabongs window from her windshield and its dimly lit.

 

(11:40:05) Momo: I’m here, outside, is everything alright??

 

Nayeon quickly tosses one of Momo’s oversized hoodies on and it tucks just below her shorts. Checking herself out in the mirror, she’s a complete mess. The dark circles under her eyes look like bruises, and her hairs in a messy ponytail. She covers her head in the hoodie and puts her glasses on before rushing down the stairs and out the door.

 

There no reply and Momo is getting worried. Feeling impatient because maybe something’s happened? Momo checks her phone again. The message seemed urgent too.

 

Nayeon runs to Momo’s car, pulling at the door handle. And it startles her as she see’s a dark face with a hoodie approach her car. But she recognizes her sweater and unlocks the door.

 

Nayeon hops in and without saying anything she sweetly kisses Momo. And her insides tingle, and her heart beats fast.  

 

Hirai is confused at what is going on. The geeky girl continues to give rapid sweet kisses. Her frame’s press against Momo’s face and she takes it off, setting it on the dash. Nayeon’s movement escalates and she maneuvers onto Momo’s lap.

 

“What is it that you needed help with?” the silly girl asks still thinking about the message.

 

Momo is so gullible.

 

Hugging Nayeon whilst pushing her seat back, the messy girl touches Momo’s hair, running her fingers through it. She continues to kiss the peach, kissing her lips and her neck. Momo flinches from her neck kisses and lets out a squeal. Hirai clenches her fists trying to endure the ticklishness, but grabs onto Nayeon’s thighs as a response.

 

“You’re so silly,” Nayeon laughs and stops.

 

She links her fingers behind Momo’s neck, and exhales, “I missed you.”

Momo stares at her, appreciating how cute she looks even without makeup, but also how tired she is.

 

“I just wanted to see you,” she says playing with the strings on her hoody.

“I thought you really needed help with something,” the silly girl snickers.

 

Looking deeply into her dark eyes, she caresses Nayeon’s smooth face, and the girl motions her cheek against Momo’s hand like a kitten.

 

And Momo tightly wraps her arms around Nayeon like a doll she never wants to let go of. Inhaling Nayeon’s scent, she smothers her face into the girl. And Nayeon pats her hair like a baby.

 

“Come inside?” Nayeon implies.

Momo hesitates because she knows where it’ll lead. She shouldn’t, she still has work to do and so does Nayeon. It’s Nayeon, how can she say no?

 

But she nods her head okay.

Besides family, nothing is more important to Momo than Im Nayeon then Yoo Jeongyeon.

 

Nabong places her index finger over her lips because the rest of the girls are probably sleeping.

 

They walk into the house, and Nayeon pulls Momo’s hand signaling her to hurry. She follows the girl up the stairs to her room and she quickly shuts the door locking it.

 

Hirai Momo loves touching Nayeon. She’s so soft like a bunny.

 

“Do you think we’d both fit in your hoody since it’s so big?” Momo wonders while taking off her own hoody.

“Wanna try?” Nayeon laughs and Momo embarrassingly shy’s away.

Nayeon takes off her hoody and her shirt lifts upwards exposing her bare skin. Momo can’t help but let her eyes wander and she suddenly feels hot as she thinks of doing things to Nayeon.

 

Im Nayeon approaches Momo, touching her waist and digging her hands into Momo’s pants touching her plump butt then into her shirt. Her heart is pulsating. Momo is completely on fire from this girl’s touch. And she gradually grabs the girl’s wrists and hands controlling them. She pushes the girl’s hands out of her shirt and at the same time pushing her back also.

 

Nayeon lets Momo take advantage of her and she leads the way. Falling onto her bed, onto Nayeon. Momo lifts the girl’s shirt, passionately kissing her collarbone and neck. She gently bites her lip and Nayeon mutters from the pain.

 

As soft as Nayeon can be, she can get aggressive too. And so can Momo.

 

Momo can see the trail of goose bumps all over Nayeon’s body.  She intimately kisses and touches every corner before placing her hands where it should be.

 

Nayeon slowly exhales from Momo’s touch. And she glides her fingers into Nayeon, giving her what she wanted the night of the party. The tired girl yanks Momo’s shirt pulling it hard with her eyes closed as her other hand wanders before clutching the sheets of her bed. Momo doesn’t stop as her fingers send Nayeon breathing uncontrollably.

 

The tired girl’s mouth widens as she’s about to moan and Momo eagerly kisses her sweet lips to silence her.

 

Nayeon pulls her shirt down and tucks Momo into her bed before tucking herself. She aggressively kisses Momo and smiles kissing her once more.

 

The peachy girl looks at Nayeon one last time before closing her eyes, she looks drained.

 

Winter is officially here and the first drop of snow is too. Momo hates finding parking on campus but she also hates driving in bad weather conditions.

 

Momo opens the fridge to find something to drink and possibly eat. The fridge has nothing but water. She grabs the water and drinks it. The only thing to eat is ramen and she feels lazy to even cook.

Momo closes the fridge and see’s the fraternity calendar clipped on the front. There’s a highlighted star the week before Christmas. She counts the days and it’s next week. Its Jeongyeon’s handwriting:

Downtown Christmas Lighting.

 

It peeks Momo’s interest since she didn’t really do much for Christmas last year. Also, it’d be her first Christmas with Nayeon. Immediately she starts thinking what to buy her baby.

 

What does she need? What does she want?

 

Jeongyeon appears from her room and see’s Momo staring at the fridge.

“The fridge won’t open itself…” she jokes.

“Ha-ha-ha,” Momo mocks.

“What’s the Christmas event thingy?” She curiously asks.

“We’re going to light the giant Christmas tree, and help serve people free beverages and sing carols,” Jeongyeon informs.

Nayeon crosses her mind as she says carols. She recalls the night of the party as Nayeon shoves the microphone in her face.

Jeongyeon half smiles and finds it kind of hilarious.

“You’re not going to flake on me this time are you?” she snickers.

Momo smirks, “I’m not sick anymore, cough-cough.”

And Jeongyeon laughs at her remark.

 

Jeongyeon and Chaengies fraternity are sponsoring the Christmas lighting event. It would be like attending a frat party but more civilized, less rowdy, and no alcohol.

Momo feels excited just thinking about the idea of taking Nayeon to places. Maybe she can bring Nayeon to the cherry blossom path she saw Jeongyeon at. But that’s if the cherry blossoms have bloomed.

 

Thinking about cuddling with Nayeon makes her smile too. And she silently giggles aloud walking away to her room.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon stares at her, not even asking why she’s laughing. She looks a little gloomy, it must be the shift in weather.

 

Or it might be winter, as winter reminds her of Mina because of cherry blossoms.

 

Feeling a little sad because things didn’t turn out the way she wanted it to be. Jeongyeon stopped believing. There’s no such thing as a miracle.

 

Jeongyeon boils water as she opens a packet of tea. Standing there frozen she remembers holding Mina’s hand and walking down the cherry blossom path.

 

“Stupid me, to believe such a thing,” Jeongyeon murmurs.

 

It is believed that if a couple walks down a road of cherry blossoms holding hands, then they will grow old together in an everlasting relationship

 

The water boiler clicks and Jeongyeon returns to reality, pouring water into her cup.

 

Already knowing that Nayeon is probably going to the Christmas lighting event, Jeongyeon tries to think of something else.

 

 

Momo calls Nayeon wanting to hear her voice.

 

“What are you doing?” Momo asks.

“Mmmm, taking a break from studying,” Nayeon states.

“Want to go to the Christmas lighting event next week?” Momo politely asks.

“Oh, someone’s already asked me…” Nayeon playfully acts.

Momo’s heart races, who asked her girlfriend to the event besides her??

Momo knows Nayeon is playing with her and laughs.

“WHO?!” Momo eagerly questions.

“Well someone’s already asked me too,” she exuberantly adds.

“I’m joking, of course I’ll go with you silly,” Nayeon exclaims.

Momo continues to playfully act.

“I’m already going with someone, sorry can’t,” she jokes.

Nayeon plays along clearing her throat and her tone changes.

“WHO?” Nayeon impatiently utters.

“Someone,” Momo replies.

“Whatever,” Nayeon laughs.

“I’ll see you soon,” Nayeon sweetly says.

 

And the line clicks.

 

Momo likes it when Nayeon gets jealous. It makes her feel wanted even more.

 

 

Hirai Momo puts on a winter coat and high socks. Grabbing her car keys she puts on her boots and heads for the door.

 

She starts the car and presses the heater button. The inside of her car is freezing including the steering wheel. Little droplets of snow land on her windshield and she swipes it away with her wipers. Snow is so pretty. It reminds her of her childhood.

 

She finally decides to attend the group therapy meeting. Not having gone in a long time she finally has the time.

 

Momo finds a parking spot easily and heads to campus. The droplets land on her hair and she shakes it off. Arriving at the group therapy meeting room she fixes her bangs and hair.

 

Immediately she see’s Myoui Mina. Excited to see her since she hasn’t seen her in a while, nor do they share any classes either. Mina gummy smiles at Momo and hugs the girl.

 

“I didn’t think you come anymore,” Mina declares.

Momo chuckles, “I’ve been busy.”

 

The two help set up the table and display the snacks. Momo steals a bite of a cookie, she’s hungry

 

There are a couple of people, but no one she knows besides Mina. Since the start of the semester, she hasn’t been attending the weekly meetings. Therefore, everyone’s new to Momo. 

 

Seeing these people makes Momo recall her stories and how she bravely shared them with everyone.

 

Things sure are different. She wasn’t who she was before.

 

She’s not bitter, sad, or angry all the time anymore..and she tries not to get in trouble.

 

Nayeon sure has an affect on her. She is such a keeper.

 

Mina and Momo welcome new members and she introduces herself as a mentor.

 

 

She sits next to Mina with her coffee. Holding the cup with both her hands, she takes small sips, the piping hot coffee keeps her warm.

“How’re you?” Mina softly asks.

“I’m great,” Momo responds.

She really is great, what more could she ask for?

“And yourself?” Momo kindly asks looking at the quiet girl.

Mina grins, “could be better.”

“Why because of Jeongyeon?” Momo blurts.

Mina swallows and pauses, “what makes you say that?”

“Well the night of the party, she just told me she saw you and you two had a decent conversation,” Momo affirms.

Mina shows the slightest of a smile and Momo see’s it.

“Maybe you should talk to her more,” she advises.

“Seem’s like she still has feelings for you, she went to see some trees on the east side of campus,” Momo secretly nudges.

“Oh,” Mina replies, sitting there quietly bending the brim of her cup. She knows exactly where and what Momo is talking about. But Jeongyeon didn’t mention going there during their decent chat.

 

In fact all they talked about was the new semester, the classes they’re taking, and the new video games they played.

 

The meeting ends and the mentors help stack the chairs. Momo and Mina clean the table with leftover beverages and stack the remaining chairs.

 

“Do you need a ride?” Momo thoughtfully offers since its late and cold and not to mention lightly snowing.

Mina shakes her head because she would rather walk. Walking has become a habit for her.

 

Momo doesn’t accept Mina’s answer. She can’t let her friend walk in the freezing cold.

“It’s dark, cold, dangerous, and late, I don’t mind,” she caringly asserts. And Mina lets Momo take her home.

 

Jennie drops Nayeon off at Momo’s. She wants to surprise Momo.

 

The girl fixes her beanie and knocks on the door. Yoo Jeongyeon answers, surprised to see Nayeon, she quickly invites the girl in.

 

“Momo isn’t here,” Jeongyeon immediately but nervously says.

“Where’d she go?” The curious girl asks.

“She went to her meeting,” Jeong answers.

 

Jeongyeon is cooking and the house is warm.

 

Nayeon unbuttons her coat taking it off, along with her beanie and fixes her hair. She tosses her coat and beanie onto Momo’s bed. Grabbing Momo’s hair tie from her table, she walks towards the kitchen, meanwhile the TV is watching itself.

 

She looks at the clock to see the time, and back at the TV. Cocking her head she shakes her hair and gathers it, tying it effortlessly.

Jeongyeon turns around looking at Nayeon tying her hair, in a sense she's mesmerized by the way she does it.

 

Jeongyeon stares stupidly and Nayeon turns around.

“It smells good, what are you cooking?” Nayeon asks as she approaches Jeongyeon.

“Oh..I’m making soft pork bone tofu soup, want to join us, Momo should be home soon,” Jeongyeon informs trying not to sound awkward.

 

Nayeon is standing right next to her and her face reddens a little.

“Do you need help?” Nayeon offers.

“No,” Jeongyeon answers and continues to stir the pot as Nayeon stands there watching her.

 

It didn’t mean anything…Jeongyeon’s conscience repeats but yet she has a hard time forgetting.

 

Jeongyeon cares for just about anyone that appears in her life. It’s in her nature.

 

This is the best opportunity since Momo isn’t home for Nayeon to apologize to Jeongyeon about what happened during the drive home. But Nayeon doesn’t, busy from schoolwork and everything else, she probably doesn’t remember.

 

“Thanks for the ride,” Mina says hugging Momo before she exits her car.

And Momo waves the girl goodbye.  

 

Momo should hurry home, it seems to be snowing harder but she knows not to rush.

 

Driving like a grandma she finally makes it home. Ridding the flakes of snow on her head, Momo takes off her coat.

 

Nayeon steps away and immediately greets her girl, throwing her arms over Momo.

 

She grabs her coat and gently kisses her. Jeongyeon see’s and purses her lips.

 

 

They all gather to eat and Jeongyeon is awfully quiet. She’s being awkward when she doesn’t need to be. And Momo compliments Jeongyeon on her cooking and Nayeon follows. And the quiet girl gives a smile.

 

The two thank Jeongyeon for the delicious meal and clean up after themselves. Nayeon goes to Momo’s room and she follows after. Leaving Jeongyeon eating alone in the living room.

 

Jeongyeon dwells. Thinking about things. Things she shouldn’t be thinking about.

 

 

Today’s the day of the Christmas lighting event.

 

Momo lazily rolls around in bed. Its so cold she would rather snuggle in bed. But she has to pick up Nayeon. Exhausted from studying, Momo checks the time to see that she has a missed call and several texts.

Current time: 11:01:30

1 missed call-Nayeon.

(10:25:04) Jeongyeon: I knocked, you were still sleeping, didn’t want to bother you, so I left first. Meeting up with Chaeng to set up the event. See you later.

(10:20:30) Nayeon: Goodmorning! <3

(10:40:05) Nayeon: You must still be sleeping. I have to be at the event around 12~.

 

Momo jumps out of bed, rushing to get ready.

 

 

She doubles up on her clothes. Peeking outside her window its snowy and white, it looks so soft and blurry. Momo wraps her scarf around her neck and puts on her beanie.  She grabs an extra jacket just in case if Nayeon might want to wear it.

 

Turning back to double check if she’s forgotten anything, Momo runs to her room to get her extra set of apartment keys.

 

Since Nayeon randomly comes over, she wants her to have a set of her apartment keys so she doesn’t need to knock or wait outside or bother Jeongyeon to open the door.

 

Her phone buzzes and it’s Nayeon.

“Hi,” she says.  
And before the girl could say anything else, “I’m leaving my place now to pick you up,” Momo replies and ends the call.

She locks her apartment door and quickly walks to her car.

 

Her shoes slide and Momo slides with them, falling back first, dropping the apartment key and dirtying her jacket.

 

Momo lies on the cold and wet ground for a second and slowly sits upright. Rubbing her back she slowly gets up and corrects herself. She collects the key and slowly walks to her car.

A thin layer of ice covers her windshield and she presses the defrost button along with the heater. Sitting there for a good minute, she puts the key in her pocket and checks the dash for the time.

Current time: 11:18

 

No rush right, Nayeon said she had to be there around 12.

 

Momo is so ecstatic that she gets to spend Christmas with Nayeon. She thinks of what to get the girl. And everything pretty comes to mind. Momo wants to spoil Nayeon, she deserves it.

 

Having fallen down Momo’s stoops. She adjusts her seat straight, trying to give her back an additional support. And the girl awkwardly sits upright looking like a wooden stick figure.

 

Momo finally arrives at Nayeon’s house and the girl is waiting outside.

She looks upset, but Momo can’t tell if the cold caused her to have a bitter face or if it’s from the wait or if its because they might be late to the event.

 

Nayeon scurries to Momo’s car and she shakes from the cold. She grabs for Momo’s hand but her hand is cold too. But at least it’s not as cold as Nayeon’s.

 

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Momo apologizes.

And Nayeon shakes her head.

“The Christmas lighting is so pretty, I went last year,” Nayeon shares.

“I’m glad I get to see it with you this year,” Nayeon says smiling.

Momo smiles hard because she’s excited too. And she can’t wait to take her to see the cherry blossoms, cuddle with her, and spoil her with gifts.

 

“Oh I almost forgot,” Momo mentions.

And the girl takes the key from her pocket and hands it to Nayeon.

“I want you to have this,” Momo embarrassingly says.

“What’s this? The key to your heart?” Nayeon jokes. And the two laugh aloud.

Momo gives her baby a corny smile, “it’s the key to my apartment, since you’re always there. Hm, think of it as an early Christmas gift.”

And Nayeon looks at the key, twirling it, and lastly putting it into her pocket for safe keeping.

 

As much as Momo dislikes driving in bad weather conditions, she has to get on the freeway.

Momo grips the steering wheel extremely hard and slowly gasses as she tries to speed up a little.

 

She rids the snow from her windshield. After a minute of driving a sudden gust of wind shifts her car and she jolts the steering wheel back.

 

The snow falls heavier and Momo takes her foot off the gas letting the car roll on its own. The view of the car upfront disappears as a layer of white mist clouds the road.

Momo can’t see anything, and she panics a little.

 

But it’s too late, Momo slams on the brakes and the car screeches as she tries not to hit the car in front as they brake too. But it’s just too late, she feel’s her car drift. And she loses control of the vehicle. Grabbing onto the steering wheel for dear life, she hears Nayeon screaming. Her car swerves and the car behind her slams into theirs, launching her car forth. And in an instant, Momo’s car hits the center divider, causing her car to flip.

 

Everything happens so fast…

 

 

Cold air blows upon Nayeon’s face. Blood rushes to her brain and she feels overwhelmed. So overwhelmed, she begins to cry from shock. Blood drips from her hand and there’s shattered glass everywhere. She looks over to Momo, desperately calling her, but nothing…

 

And with all her might, she calls again louder, “MOMO!”

But nothing…

And Nayeon weeps.

Blood drips from Momo’s head as it rests on a pool of blood. Nayeon feels invincible as the adrenaline floods her body. She wants to help Momo, but she struggles to unbuckle her seat belt and everything becomes a blur.

 

Nayeon blacks out.

 

And everything is silent….

Everything is cold……


	3. Memento Mei

What should’ve happened….

 

The snow falls heavier and Momo takes her foot off the gas letting the car roll on its own. Already feeling tense from earlier’s fall, Momo’s entire body stiffs up and her back’s sore. The view of the car upfront disappears as a layer of white mist clouds the road. And she panics, grabbing the steering wheel tighter than ever. Momo turns on her hazard lights to notify others in case of anything, for she fears the worst. Nayeon see’s the worry in her face. And she grabs onto Momo’s shoulder, gently squeezing it, giving her reassurance that everything will be just fine. Momo’s stiff shoulders relax a little. She’s worried, but the last thing she’d want to do is worry Nayeon too. She quickly glances at Nayeon, giving her baby a smile. And in return, the girl touches her again, petting her hair.

“Take your time, no rush, we’re probably going to be late anyways,” Nayeon says as she checks the time.

 

Nayeon corrects the vent towards her body as the warm heat blows against her chest. The freezing girl shivers and Momo notices from the corner of her peripheral. She turns all the vents towards Nayeon, in hopes her girlfriend stays warm. Nayeon rubs her hands vigorously trying to warm her cold hands. She see’s the clock on her dash, but still takes her time driving because safety in this weather condition is most important.

 

Im Nayeon takes the key out from her pocket, and fiddles with the edges. She feels giddy and happy. Having received a key from Momo means a lot to her. Not only is it the key to unlock her heart, but it also means she can see Momo more often as she pleases. And most importantly it’s also an invitation of trust.

Nayeon holds the key in front of her, looking at it once more before putting it away. And without hesitation, she dabs Momo’s cheek with a hard kiss, startling her.

 

“What was that for?” Momo asks giving Nayeon a quick glance and smirk.

 

 

Momo signals to exit and after a minute of driving the two safely arrive to the Christmas lighting event.

 

Momo parks the car and Nayeon sits there still dazed about the key. Nayeon puts her hand around Hirai’s neck.

 

“Do you want to kiss?” Nayeon asks as she cheeky eyes Hirai.

“Mmm…Maybe if there’s a mistletoe,” Momo jokes.

And her response makes Nayeon laugh as she retracts her hand to cover her laughter.

The two sit there in the cold silence and Nayeon glimpses at Momo.

 

“Can we sit here for a little, until the heat disappears?” Nayeon politely asks.

“But we’ll be late,” Momo answers.

“We’re already late,” Nayeon laughs.

“Or we can ditch,” Nayeon jokingly suggests.

Momo thinks as she sits there with her back slightly sore from the fall that occurred earlier. But knowing she really wanted to see the Christmas lighting with Nayeon, the peach gives her a playful glare. As much as she hates driving in the snow, she’s already safely driven there. But if Nayeon wants to ditch, then so be it, for Momo can only think of one thing she wants to do in the cold, and that’s cuddle in bed with Nayeon.

 

 

What really happened….

 

Nayeon wants to help Momo, but the struggles to unbuckle her seat belt as she sees her lying upside down in a puddle of blood. Nayeon weeps for she believes Momo is dead. Her sight blurs and Nayeon blacks out. Everything remains silent and cold…

 

The snow seems to suddenly fall harder and Jeongyeon muffles her face inside her coat.

“Do you want to sing?” Chaeyoung jokingly offers.

Jeongyeon silently shakes her head. The image of Nayeon shoving the microphone in her face during the night of the party remains fresh in her mind. And she’d rather not sing. The girl gives out a quiet laugh as she continues to pass beverages as people walk by.

 

Jeongyeon checks the time, the event has already started and Momo is nowhere in sight. She and Chaeyoung continue to pass the hot chocolate. Though it’s still cold, the snow has somewhat subsided. 

“Have you heard from Momo?” Jeongyeon asks as she turns to look at Chaeng.

“No, why?” Chaeng replies.

“She told me she was coming,” Jeongyeon recalls.

But Chaeyoung shrugs, she doesn’t know.

Fifteen minutes pass and still no sign of Momo. Jeongyeon assumes Nayeon must be with Momo since she’s not there either. Knowing Nayeon’s status, she usually attends every event if not party.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon checks the time again, and she’s starting to get worried.

“On the other hand, maybe they decided not to come seeing how hard it snowed earlier,” Jeongyeon’s conscience sides.

 

She tries not to worry, because today is supposed to be a good day. The Christmas lighting will be spectacular and beautiful. The only thing she’s missing is a significant other to watch it with.

 

The other members gather as they start to sing Christmas carols. Jeongyeon stands with them and silently sings. She doesn’t know all the words and she tries her best to sing each song. Chaeyoung sings along loudly and she shakes the bell happily. Jeongyeon notices and steals the bell from her and shakes it instead of singing to contribute to the singing group.

 

Not sure how many carols they sang, but several hours have passed and Jeongyeon finds it even more odd that Momo isn’t there. She said she was coming and she usually isn’t one to flake.

 

The giant Christmas tree is beautiful as it stands tall with pretty ornaments and decorations.

“Wow,” Jeongyeon says with amazement.

If she were here with Mina, she’d give her a kiss, mistletoe or not.

 

Jeongyeon’s phone buzzes and she steps aside to answer the unfamiliar number.

 

“Hello?” she says.

“Hi is this Ms. Yoo Jeongyeon?” the girl on the other end asks.

“Yes,” Jeongyeon confirms.

“We’d like to inform you this is the hospital calling, we have you here as a family contact for a Hirai Momo, she’s been involved in an accident, there was also another girl she was with,” the girl informs.

And before Jeongyeon could say anything else, her heart drops.

 

As much as she needs to be at the hospital now, she has to tell Chaeyoung also. Having carpooled with the girl, she’s her only ride there. Pulling Son Chaeyoung to the side, she tells her.

“We have to go to the hospital,” Jeongyeon states in monotone.

Chaeyoung sets the tray down and gives No Jam Jeong a serious face.

“What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?” Chaeng considerately asks.

“It’s not me, its Momo…she’s been in a car accident,” Jeongyeon hesitantly informs.

Chaeyoung’s mouth automatically drops after hearing the news.

 

Borrowing her mom’s car, Chaeng and Jeongyeon quickly get in the car, leaving the Christmas lighting event and everyone with it.  

 

Jeongyeon sits, not sure of what to think. Her minds all over the place but she prays for dear life that Momo is fine. She prays that she doesn’t lose her best friend.

 

“Don’t rush okay? Just drive safely,” Jeongyeon caringly advises.

Though Chaeng knows, she does as she’s told, and takes the back roads to the hospital, carefully driving.

 

Jeongyeon run’s towards the entrance and into the hospital with Chaeyoung following her. Not knowing where her best friend is, she run’s to the reception asking for a Hirai Momo. Within seconds of searching the database, the nurse finds Momo’s room number gives it to her. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung walk fast to elevator. A worried and eager Jeongyeon presses the three button rapidly like the elevator would ascend quicker. Chaeng notices and grips her shoulder to comfort her. Jeongyeon tries to keep her composure as her eyes begin to tear.

 

She drives. She knows and understands that driving in these conditions can get scary and sometimes can be unsafe. Jeongyeon fears for the worse but she tries to remain optimistic.

“If something happens to Momo, who will pay part of the rent now?” she sarcastically thinks, though this is no joking matter. But her sarcasm slightly enlightens her as she keeps thinking of the worse. And she doesn’t want to have any bad thoughts.

 

Jeongyeon puts her hand over her face, rubbing her cheeks. The elevator doors open and she eagerly walks to Momo’s room. A droplet of tear slides down Jeongyeon’s face as she sees Hirai lying on the hospital bed. Hooked up to multiple machines, a huge white cloth wrapped around her head from what looks like a head trauma, and a neck brace securing her posture. There’s some bruising and cuts on her face, but just looking at her, devastates the two. Chaeng is crushed.

 

Chaeyoung purses her lips inwards as she tries to hold her tears. But she can’t and a stream of tears run down her cheeks. She’s never seen Momo that way. And the short girl reaches for Jeongyeon’s shoulder and the two have a moment of tears and silence.

 

Jeongyeon walks over to Momo, getting a better look at her. She looks at the monitor, not understanding what the EKG reads, and it just beats normal.

 

“Momo,” Jeongyeon says with tear filled eyes.

 

The door knocks and it’s the doctor. Jeongyeon wipes the tears from her face as the doctor enters. And Chaeyoung looks away for a second to control her tears.

Jeongyeon sniffs hard, and clears her throat, and takes a big breath in and exhales it.

 

“Are you...family?” the doctor confusedly asks.

“Me, I am,” Jeongyeon immediately responds.

“Patient has been involved in a serious accident which has caused some brain injury and massive blood loss. I have stabilized the wound. But, her brain is currently swollen and has inadequate blood flow. Therefore, to help and reduce the swelling, she needed to be put under an induced coma. It is too early to tell, but with patients who have severe brain trauma, there are symptoms that come after such as headaches, amnesia, mental confusion and such,” the doctor states.

 

Jeongyeon looks back to Momo and back at the doctor trying to comprehend everything.

“Thank you,” Jeongyeon voices and bows at the doctor as he leaves the room.

“She’ll wake right?” Chaeyoung worriedly asks.

“Yeah, of course,” Jeongyeon confirms from what the doctor just said.

 

Jeongyeon reaches for the chair, pulling it towards Momo. She grabs another chair putting it next to hers for Chaeyoung. And the two sit there in silence with Momo.

 

“She’ll be okay,” Jeongyeon quietly says as she reaches for Chaeng’s hand and she tightly holds it.

Son Chaeyoung sniffs her runny nose and wipes the tears from her eyes.

 

Chaeyoung checks the time and it’s almost 5 PM. It’ll soon be late and she doesn’t want to drive after sunset. Plus she has to give her mom back the car.

 

“I have to go,” Chaeyoung states as she looks at Jeong with a face full of worry still.

“Okay, I’ll stay here, drive safe in the snow,” Jeongyeon politely orders.

Seeing Momo this way, she doesn’t want Chaeyoung in a hospital bed either.

 

The monitor beats repeatedly and Jeongyeon glances at it and back to Momo.

“What happened to you?” she sighs.

 

Forgetting all about Nayeon, Jeongyeon immediately stands upright and temporarily leaves Momo. She doesn’t know which room Nayeon is in, so she walks down the hall quietly peeking her head into every window and room, searching for her.

 

Until finally, she reaches the room at the end of the hall, to see Im Nayeon with a neck brace on, and same as Momo several cuts, bruises, and scrapes.

Jeongyeon quietly enters and she stares at the poor girl.

 

“What happened,” Jeongyeon questions again.

 

Jeongyeon doesn’t know the condition of Nayeon, but from the looks of it she doesn’t look as bad as Momo. And there aren’t that many machines hooked on her. So it must be a sign that Nayeon isn’t as critical.

 

Jeongyeon nears her bed and gently squeezes Nayeon’s hand, kindly gesturing to her that everything will be okay. The worrying girl frowns as she see’s two of her friends in a hospital bed lying there unconscious. She leaves Nayeon and heads back to Momo’s room. Looking at her once again before leaving to get something to eat.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon’s stopped believe in miracles. But she could really use one right now, seeing how critical Momo is. The girl rides the elevator down to the first floor to the cafeteria. And she orders herself a hot soup with rice. Waiting in line for her food to be called, she dwells.

 

If she decided to wait this morning and catch a ride with Momo and Nayeon, then she could’ve been lying on a hospital bed too. And the thoughts terrify her. One minute everything is fine, and then the next something terrible goes wrong. And in a blink of an eye, everything can change.

 

“Number two!” The lady calls.

Jeongyeon breaks from her thoughts and approaches the counter for her food.

The thinking girl carries her food to a nearby table and sits down. She quietly eats and thinks of how an accident like that could have happened. She doesn’t understand how Momo could have such a bad head injury.

 

Jeongyeon looks at her phone and decides to message Chaeyoung to check if she got back safely.

 

(6:50:07) Jeongyeon: Did you get home safely?

(6:50:30) Chaeyoung: Yes, thanks for checking.

(6:51:22) Chaeyoung: Are you going to stay at the hospital?

(6:51:55) Jeongyeon: For now yes, until morning.

 

Jeongyeon continues to eat, spooning rice into her mouth and taking sips of her soup. The worried girl takes her time, she’ll be there all night.

 

Nayeon mumbles and slowly opens her eyes. Her eyes wander as she looks around the bright room. Lifting her arm, she can see a clip on her index finger and an IV tube in her wrist.

 

The last thing she remembers is the car suddenly flipping and her body upside down, then the struggle to get out her seat. The shattered glass, the quiet and cold wind blowing in her face, and the puddle of blood. And the rest was blurry.

 

Nayeon attempts to get up but her body feels weak, her limbs feel heavy, and she’s kind of dizzy. The girl tries to lift her head but the neck brace limits her movement. Nayeon panics, she doesn’t remember injuring her neck.

It’s the adrenaline.

 

Nayeon exhales hard, and she tries to lift her head again but it doesn’t budge. All she can feel is a sharp pain from the slightest of a movement, and her eyes start to water.

“Momo,” Nayeon sadly calls. But no one hears her.

She calls again using all the strength in her, but nothing. Nayeon lies there helpless and the girl begins to cry. Unsure of how Momo is, or if she’s still alive after remembering the pool of blood.

 

Jeongyeon eats the last of her rice, dipping it into her soup. She gets up, grabbing her tray, and cleaning after herself.

 

She strolls to the elevator with a heavy mind thinking of many things. Like if her parent’s know, when will she wake, and Nayeon.

 

Jeongyeon rides the elevator up back to Momo’s room.

 

“With that accident, it’s a miracle, that young lady wasn’t badly injured,” the nurse says. And Jeongyeon stops in her track, pretending to check her phone to eavesdrop as the nurses discuss the girl at the end of the hall.

 

She knows they’re referring to Nayeon.

 

Jeongyeon stops pretending and walks directly to Momo’s room. But everything remains the same and Momo’s expressionless. Exiting to walk to the end of the hall, she checks on Nayeon. She spots a conscious Nayeon crying and the girl eyes anxiously steer to Jeongyeon.

 

“Jeongyeon,” Nayeon weakly calls as tears stream from her eyes.  

Without thinking Jeongyeon immediately grabs Nayeon’s hand and she clenches back.

“M-M-momo,” her voice trembles.

Jeongyeon gives her a look of worry and comfort. She doesn’t know if telling her that Momo is in a coma would be okay. She doesn’t know how she’d react, even though she deserves to know. Not wanting Nayeon to worry, given her condition, Jeongyeon would rather the girl see for herself when she’s better.

“She’s fine, she’s okay,” Jeongyeon reassures. And Nayeon’s face relieves knowing that Momo isn’t dead. She slowly stops crying but is still saddened by what happened.

 

Nayeon continues to tremble and Jeongyeon thoughtfully pulls the sheets up to her neck brace.

“Are you thirsty?” Jeong asks.

The thoughtful girl grabs a tissue and pours a cup of water for her and sticks a straw in handing it to Nayeon.

 

Assuming she can function, but she struggles, Nayeon’s neck is stiff, and a slight movement makes her feel pain.

Nayeon slowly raise her hand to reach for the tissue and cup.

 

“I’m sorry, here,” Jeongyeon states, feeling absolutely stupid. And the girl helps Nayeon, putting the straw on her dry lips. She stares at Jeongyeon as she sucks on the straw, downing the water. Jeong looks at Nayeon too, she can’t imagine the pain she must be going through.

 

If it was Mina, she’d do everything in her power to ensure she’s comforted and more than okay.

 

Tissue in hand, she gently pats Nayeon’s cheeks, and the spots where her tears have stained. Amongst all the cuts, bruises, and scrapes, Nayeon still looks beautiful.

 

Jeongyeon continues to stare at Nayeon, not knowing what else to say. She would rather her not speak at all and rest. Her eyes break away, as she stares at the rest of Nayeon, tossing the tissue, and putting the cup on the table.

 

“I’ll be in Momo’s room, you should rest up,” Jeongyeon caringly informs.

Nayeon licks her lips and half smiles, “thank you.”

 

Yoo Jeongyeon smiles back, leaving Nayeon’s room and walking back the hall to her best friend.

 

Sitting at the same seat, Jeongyeon stretches. There’s nothing she can do but look at Momo for now.

 

“Your girl is fine,” she states, even though Momo is in a coma and most likely won’t hear any of what she has to say.

“She’s got this neck brace on, and she’s awake, unlike you,” Jeongyeon sarcastically says.

 

Hours pass, and she still sits in the same seat. Turning around Jeongyeon stares out the window, and its dark and cold. Little droplets of snow fall as she looks at the light post that illuminates the street.

 

The girl yawns, feeling tired from waking up so early to help with the Christmas lighting event.

 

Jeongyeon goes to the reception counter, asking the nurse for an extra blanket.

 

Going back to Momo’s room, she helps her wing-woman with her blanket, pulling it upwards to her chin.

 

Jeongyeon moves the chair back to its place and sits on the small couch, pulling the blanket over her body.

 

And she closes her eyes, resting them.

 

 

Chaeyoung enters her dorm to find Tzuyu snacking on crackers. And she eye’s the cracker then at her. She’s hungry.

“What?” she says whilst chewing. She waves her cracker at Chaeng, gesturing her to take a bite.

 

But the tired girl shakes her head, and its evident she’s been crying.

“What’s wrong?” Tzuyu immediately says, putting her cracker down.

She doesn’t want to be the one to tell her, but the pretty girl will find out sooner or later.

“It’s…it’s Momo, she’s been in an accident and is at the hospital, in a coma,” Chaeng falters.

Chou Tzuyu stands on her two feet, and worry overwhelms her. Though she and Momo are no longer together, she still cares for her.

“Which hospital? Where?” Tzuyu eagerly asks.

“What happened to her?” she eagerly adds.

“I don’t know what happened to her besides the fact she was in an accident,” Chaeyoung advises.

Tzuyu pinches her finger, she doesn’t want to believe it’s true. She thinks the worst, but she hopes Momo is okay.

 

Chaeyoung sits at the kitchen table, starving. Having to return the car to her mom and rushing back, she hasn’t eaten anything yet. She picks up Tzuyu’s cracker and finishes it. The hungry girl opens the fridge for the leftover pizza and microwaves a slice.

 

She watches Tzuyu and the girl stands frozen staring off in space.

 

“Are you okay?” Chaeyoung politely asks, approaching her as she waits for her pizza to heat up.  

Tzuyu creases her brows, unsure of what to think or how to feel. She cares deeply for Momo, she still does.

 

She exhales, and puckers.

“I’m okay,” she truthfully lies, trying to persuade herself that everything is fine.

Tzuyu leaves Chaeyoung, heading straight to her room, holding her tears and heart with it.

 

She crawls into bed, slumped on her chest, and she starts to silently cry as she lies on her pillow.

 

Tzuyu feels stupid for even crying, but her tears won’t stop. There’s a soft spot in her heart for Momo. Tears roll down her face as she thinks of reasons not to cry. But knowing Momo is hurt defeats her reasoning. But she has to accept that Momo is now with Nayeon. Things never left off on a good note, though she’s confessed to Hirai that one night at the party. But her conscience just seems heavy after hearing the news.

 

Chaeyoung sits at the table, eating her pizza. She thinks if maybe telling Tzuyu was right or wrong. Knowing what the two have been through, and how they’re not together anymore. But, she can’t take back what’s been said and Chaeyoung stops dwelling on her decision.

 

 

Momo’s head spins as she wakes. Feeling like she’s about to collapse, she quickly sits upright. The sun shining through the window burns her eyes, causing her to squint. The ring on her finger illuminates as the sun bounces off the gold band. Momo sits on the bed perplexed. Confused at everything, she looks upward to see a view of an open field of yellow flowers. The scenery looks familiar, like somewhere she’s been before, but the girl can’t seem to remember. There’s a clatter like dishes falling and Momo turns around at once. She turns back around to see the view, but she’s now sitting at the kitchen table. Glancing at her finger, the ring still remains intact.

“How did I…” her voice trails as a hand sets on her shoulder alerting her.

Momo turns her head to see Tzuyu in an apron. And the girl hovers over Momo, putting her arms around her shoulders.

Tzuyu kisses Momo’s cheek ever so gently. She looks at the diamond ring on her hand and is even more baffled.

The stove clicks and the pan begins to sizzle breaking her stare. Momo stands and Tzuyu wraps her arms around her neck this time. Her stares are affectionate and Momo doesn’t know what to do with her hands or what is going on.

She looks back at Tzuyu with furrowed brows.

“When did we get married?” Momo inquires with seriousness.

Tzuyu releases her hold and gives a little laugh.

“You’re funny,” Tzuyu blurts, facing Momo.

Tzuyu playfully grasps Hirai’s cheeks, causing her lips to pucker and she pecks them quickly before checking on the sizzling pan…

Momo turns around still wanting an answer, but she’s back sitting on the bed.

She looks out the window to see a field of chrysanthemums. She waits for the clatter, but nothing. She turns her head back and forth, but the view remains the same…

Approaching the window, she looks at the chrysanthemums, as it seems to be changing colors.

Momo clenches her chest and it suddenly hurts. She falls back onto the bed to sit…

 

 

The EKG monitor beeps oddly causing Jeongyeon to wake. It was not beating like that last night and Jeongyeon doesn’t know what’s going on. She doesn’t understand the monitor either but the waves are fluctuating. And the clear button above Momo’s bed suddenly flashes red. Within seconds, nurses rush into the room following a doctor. The nurse forces Jeongyeon to leave the room momentarily. She stands obediently against the wall, as she panics.

Jeongyeon runs her fingers through her hair, as she see’s the nurses and doctors at work. She’s extremely concerned as she see’s another doctor rush into the room.

 

Jeongyeon paces back and forth, and decides to walk down the hall to Nayeon’s room. She gave the girl her word that Momo is fine, but now it doesn’t seem that way. Without stepping in, Jeongyeon peeks at Nayeon who is still asleep in the same position as last night.

 

The two doctors exit Momo’s room together, following some nurses, and Jeongyeon runs back wanting to know what happened. The nurse fixes Momo’s blanket and bed as she updates the girl’s chart.

“Is she okay,” Jeongyeon worriedly asks.

“She is fine, EKG’s measures your heart’s electrical activity. The fluctuation caused the beeping sound you heard earlier. Abnormal beeping can be a cause of concern; therefore, we monitor it closely when it comes to coma patients. The doctor said it was most likely an arrhythmia, it happens,” the nurse kindly explains.

Jeongyeon alleviates, knowing now what the monitor is for and that Momo is still fine.

 

Jeongyeon watches the nurse scribble something on her chart and leave.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon sighs, and she carefully pats Momo’s hair.

“Do you remember that one time I helped bring Nayeon back from the party?” Jeong questions.

“Well you said I owe you one, and I said that’s okay, well I take it back,” Jeong asserts.

 

Jeongyeon sits back down, fully awake from the scare.

Reaching for her phone, she messages Seungyeon.

 

(10:05:10) Jeongyeon: Can you pick me up? I’m at the hospital.

(10:07:01) Seungyeon: What happened? Are you hurt????? I will be there.

(10:07:50) Jeongyeon: It’s not me, it’s Momo, I’m okay.

 

Jeongyeon sits patiently, waiting for Seungyeon.

 

Fifteen minutes or so pass and her phone buzzes, and its Seungyeon.

 

Jeongyeon approaches Momo again, taking one last look at her best friend before leaving.

 

She walks down the hall to the elevator and out the sliding door to meet Seungyeon.

The cold air blows on her face as she exits the hospital and she quickly gets into Seungyeon’s car.

 

“What happened to Momo?” Seungyeon curiously asks.

“She was in an accident, she’s now in a coma,” Jeongyeon informs without going too much into detail.

 

She sits there quietly as Seungyeon drives back towards campus.

“Can we go home instead?” Jeongyeon kindly asks.

“Sure,” Seungyeon replies and continues to drive.

 

It’s the weekend, and Jeongyeon hasn’t been home for weeks, having been busy with school and the fraternity. And partying.

 

She’s tired, still. But after seeing Momo fine one minute then in a hospital bed the next, it makes Jeongyeon feel sad. And being surrounded by family seems to be something she wants at the moment. 

 

Entering her house, Jeongyeon strides to her room, leaving Seungyeon to close the front door.

Jeongyeon closes her door and turns to her bed for comfort. Hiding amongst the blankets, she begins to wonder. She always tells herself that life isn’t fair, and it’s true.

 

Allowing her bed to consume her, she doesn’t know what to do. The only thought she has is wishing and wanting Momo a quick recovery.

 

Jeongyeon temporarily closes her eyes from too much thinking. The warmth of her blankets and the safety of her bed put her to sleep. 

 

 

Nayeon wakes feeling better only to a small degree, but the pain still exists. She can’t think of anything but Momo.

 

The poor girl clenches her hands and lifts her arms and it’s not as weak as yesterday.

 

The nurse enters her room with a breakfast tray and sets it on the table, helping her push it closer to her.

“I saw on your chart that you didn’t have any additional contact information, is there anyone you’d like to call,” the nurse nicely asks.

“No,” Nayeon simply says. She’s old enough to care for herself, and she doesn’t want to worry her parents.

 

The sad bunny looks at her food.

She’s not hungry, but she needs to eat to regain strength and to see Momo.

 

Nayeon inclines her bed and sits upright. The nurse helps her shove an extra pillow behind her back to support her posture. She looks at the food, it’s not appetizing, but she forces herself to eat. She has to.

 

She eats and thinks simultaneously. Chewing the piece of toast with jam.

“Does Momo think of her too, why hasn’t she come to visit, what’s really going on that Jeongyeon isn’t telling her, and is Momo really okay, does her friends know she’s in the hospital,” her conscience debates.

 

The more she thinks, the more things don’t add up.

 

Still weak and tender, Nayeon slowly eats. A slight turn of her neck causes pain and the pillow isn’t helping or the damn neck brace. But she needs it, her head feels like a ton. The hurting girl slumps her back, feeling the tension ease. So, she continues to eat and sit in that manner. She reaches for the bag on the table with her belongings. She presses her phone, but it’s out of battery. The key Momo gave her is still there. She glances at it and that’s something she can’t lose.

 

Nayeon rubs her back as she’s been sitting in the same position for a couple minutes. The need to walk would be good for her. And she really wants to see Momo. But her back still hurts and Nayeon lies there turning to her side as she rests a little more.

 

 

Without realizing she’s fallen asleep, Nayeon looks out the window and day has turned to almost night.

 

Feeling her back stiff as she tries to sit up straight, Nayeon slowly inches out of bed. Wheeling the IV machine her way, she uses it like a cane for support. Nayeon inches to the bathroom in her room and holds onto every surface she touches.

 

She looks at her face and she sees there’s some cuts and scrapes. Standing back she lifts her gown, looking at her lower half and there’s bruises on her kneecaps. Nayeon grips onto the IV machine as she struggles to stand up straight.

 

The injured girl slowly treads out the bathroom and out of her room. She’s not sure which room Momo is in, but she decides to walk down the hall. She should be resting.

 

Nayeon slowly walks down the hall, peeking her head into each room and window with her IV machine following her. The desperate girl holds onto the wall with each step. After several peeks, Nayeon finally reaches a patient with a white bandage over their head. But from the side, she can tell its Momo. And the desperate girl immediately chokes up as she grips onto her IV machine. With baby steps, she enters Momo’s room. Seeing the machines hooked up to her, and the condition she’s in, Nayeon breaks down. She can’t bear to see Momo this way, and her heart shatters as an endless stream of tears fall from her eyes.

 

But now she knows why Momo hasn’t visited her. Nayeon stands paralyzed as she looks at the sleeping girl. Every memory she has with Momo flashes in her mind including the accident.

 

The crying girl caresses her cheek.

She can’t take her eyes off Momo and she just stares at her as if she’ll speak.

 

Enduring the pain and waiting to walk back, she moves to the chair and sits there for a while, accompanying Momo.

 

After a while of sitting and crying, Nayeon slowly walks back to her room. The nurse enters Nayeon’s room with a dinner tray, but the girl’s missing. The nurse sets the tray down and knocks on the bathroom but no patient. And she looks out the hall to see Nayeon slowly walking back. She goes to Nayeon, assisting her back to her room safely.

 

“Thank you,” Nayeon says as she steadily gets back into bed.

 

 

Jeongyeon wakes from her long sleep. She doesn’t want to do anything. She’s gloomy. The weather, the conditions of her best friend, the girl who she likes, and just about everything makes her feel sad. And the overwhelming mix of emotions from this morning has taken a toll on her emotionally.

 

The tired girl grabs her phone to check the time and its already night. Sleeping makes the time go faster, and tomorrow is a new week, another day.

 

Jeongyeon get’s up, having skipped breakfast and lunch, she’s hungry. She leaves her room to the kitchen to see her mom organizing the fridge.

Jeongyeon smiles at the sight of her mom. She hasn’t seen her parents in a while since she’s been busy. Her mom fixes her a plate of food, and she sits there quietly eating. Her mom gathers and packs her a bunch of food before she leaves. And she always appreciates this. Jeongyeon continues to eat, savoring every bite and cherishing every moment.

 

It’s as if seeing Momo that way has given her an epiphany.

 

The tired girl carries the bag of food her mom prepared. Hugging her parents goodbye, she heads back to her apartment, driving her car. She didn’t feel the need to bring a car since she always drove Momo’s. But now knowing that Momo’s car is wrecked, she has to be extra careful.

 

Though she doesn’t live far from her parents, she slowly drives back. The slow drive helps her clear her mind, lately she’s been thinking a lot.

 

Making it back to her apartment, Jeongyeon enters, setting the bag of food on the counter. She stands in the kitchen, and its quiet, she’s alone. And the girl unpacks the bag of food, organizing them into the fridge.  

 

Her phone buzzes and it’s Myoui Mina.

 

(9:25:04) Mina: I heard what happened, are you okay? Is Momo okay?

Jeongyeon stares at the message, it’s nice that Mina even thought of messaging her, since their last conversation felt awkward. Things haven’t been the greatest, there are rough patches, but she still deeply cares and loves Mina a lot. She would like for things to be the way they used to, and everyday she tells herself, good things take time. And Minari is her good thing.

 

Jeongyeon thinks of what to say because she wants to be hopeful and optimistic.

 

(9:27:12) Jeongyeon: I will be okay. Momo and Nayeon were in a car accident, they’re okay.

(9:27:40) Jeongyeon: Thank you for asking.

 

Not going into detail, she leaves the message as is.

Jeongyeon decides to shower, she needs one, since she hasn’t showered for two days.

 

 

Days have passed and Jeongyeon has been in and out of the hospital visiting Momo and Nayeon.

 

A new day a new week, and things continue as they were. Momo and Nayeon still remain in the hospital recovering.

 

Words spread fast and just about all their friends know what happened to the two and have been visiting them.

 

She tries to visit Momo as much as possible, but she also has to keep up with school. The last time she struggled with something, she skipped class and was bed-ridden for days, depressed.

 

The missing of Momo’s voice, not seeing her around in the apartment, or constantly hogging the bathroom with her seems odd. It’s different and something she’s not used to. Knowing her best friend isn’t there makes her feel more alone.

 

Yoo Jeongyeon walks to class. She sits there quietly and looks to the seat Nayeon used to sit. It’s vacant. With everything going on, she tries to focus. The least she could do is take notes, knowing that Nayeon is a straight A student.

 

 

Feeling bad for not visiting sooner, Chou Tzuyu enters the sliding doors of the hospital. Riding the elevator up she goes straight to Momo’s room. Flowers in hand, she enters to see Momo lying expressionless and head still wrapped in bandages. Tzuyu places the flower on the table, near the window. Sadness fills her as she looks back to Momo. And she pets her head like she used to when they were together. This is probably the closest she’ll be to touching Momo.

 

Tzuyu bites her lower lip, trying hard to hold in her tears. Breathing in and out, she grabs the chair and sits there, accompanying her ex-girlfriend.

 

An hour passes and Tzuyu still sits there, holding onto Momo. If Momo were conscious, she’d never let her hold her hand. She knows Momo is with Nayeon, but she does it anyways. Not only does she miss Hirai, but she wishes her well. The feelings remain but not like it matters because Momo loves Nayeon. She knows, she saw it in her eyes the last time they spoke. She can tell by her looks, because she used to look at her that way.

 

Tzuyu fixes Momo’s hair and pets it one last time, caressing her cheek while at it. And she gets up, leaving her room. The girl stands outside, having a moment of silence and disbelief before heading to the elevator.

 

Nayeon feels much better today, compared to couple days ago. She still has the neck brace on but she is able to maneuver better. She gets up from bed, she’s eager to see Momo. Walking out, she spots a tall girl leaning against the wall right outside of Momo’s room. And she knows who it is. She’s met this girl before, and from the looks of her hair to her height, she knows it’s Tzuyu.

 

Tzuyu walks straight without looking or turning back. Nayeon treads to Momo’s and she sees the flowers on the table by the window. It doesn’t bother her, instead the flowers are beautiful; if it was her, she’d bring Momo flowers too.

 

Nayeon smiles as she looks at Momo. The girl’s condition looks better today. The swelling around her head and eyes look better. The scrapes and cuts on her face are healing. And sooner or later, she can’t wait for Momo to wake. Nayeon sits, making herself comfortable, as she cares for Momo.

 

The snow has cleared up and melted. It’s still cold and Jeongyeon walks out of class with her hood on and scarf covering her face. She walks towards the parking lot passing the quad. From a distance, she notices Mina walking with Lisa. She doesn’t have many friends and seeing the two makes Jeongyeon wonder how they know each other. She automatically assumes they met from the last party. She’s not used to seeing Mina with anyone besides their circle of friends. But Jeongyeon doesn’t want to bother her or approach the two. They seem close…

Therefore, Jeongyeon continues to walk to the parking lots.

 

Mina walks with her hands in her pocket. She casually converses with Lisa as they both share a similarity as being foreigners. Having met Manoban Lisa from the last party, she seems quite friendly. Mina decides to tell her about group therapy meetings if ever she needs someone to turn to or some place to go to.

 

 

Jeongyeon drives to the hospital to visit her best friend and Nayeon.

 

She enters the sliding door, walking straight to the elevator, pressing the third floor. Walking into Momo’s room, she see’s Nayeon sound asleep on the chair. She quietly steps, grabbing the blanket she used and considerately puts it on Nayeon. And immediately Nayeon awakes to see Jeongyeon and the girl grins at her.

 

“Hi,” Jeongyeon greets.

And Nayeon smiles at the girl, grabbing the blanket to cover herself, “thanks.”

 

Jeongyeon looks at the flowers and picks them up, thinking of putting them in some water.

 

“They’re from Tzuyu,” Nayeon informs.

She’s surprised, but not shocked, she knew Momo’s ex would visit sooner or later. And knowing she lives with Chaeyoung, she must’ve found out from her.

 

Jeongyeon pulls the chair and takes a seat, looking at Momo. Her best friend looks better today than the past couple of days she’s visited.

 

Nayeon continues to look at Momo lovingly but with so much care in her eyes.

 

Jeongyeon breaks her stare and looks at Nayeon, analyzing her. And she looks good too, the cuts and scrapes are healing faster than Momo’s. Nayeon looks beautiful, even without make up.

 

“How are you,” Jeongyeon asks.

“I’m okay,” Nayeon simply replies.

But the girl doesn’t mean it that way…

“Honestly,” Jeongyeon states.

And Nayeon deeply sighs, she wishes Momo would wake up. But at the same time, she kind of blames herself for the cause of their accident.

“I’m…” Nayeon hesitates as she covers her mouth and her eyes begin to water.

Jeongyeon notices and decides to scoot closer to Nayeon, unsure of how she’ll comfort this sad girl.

“It’s my fault, if I didn’t let her take me to the Christmas lighting then none of this would’ve happened,” Nayeon says with a heavy heart.

She feels utterly guilty and at fault.

But Yoo Jeongyeon knows its not her fault, regardless of Nayeon, Momo was going to go anyways. And Nayeon was caught in the crossfire at the wrong time and place.

Jeongyeon places her hand on the girl’s back, rubbing it soothingly.

“It’s not your fault,” Jeongyeon asserts.

Tears slowly drop from her face, and Jeongyeon tends to her, trying to comfort Nayeon.

“Things happen, life is unpredictable,” Jeongyeon utters as she looks away thinking of things that have happened to her. And Jeongyeon stares, eyes fixated on the wall as she recalls things happening with her and Mina. But indeed life is unpredictable, because if it wasn’t for having class together, or joining a fraternity with Chaeng, or partying, then she wouldn’t have met Nayeon.

 

The nurse enters interrupting the two. And she picks up Momo’s chart to see her vitals and information. 

 

“There’s been an update, I will call the doctor to inform you,” she comments.

 

Some minutes later, the doctor enters and speaks directly to Jeongyeon. Remembering her face, he informs her about patient Hirai.

 

Nayeon intently listens as the doctor reports.

 

“Due to recent brain scans, the induced coma has been helping with the swelling around the brain. There may be some side effects from the brain injury, it’s too soon to tell. I won’t know until she’s fully conscious. But everything seems good healing wise, and if things are on the right track, we can expect to wake her up next week,” the doctor explains.

 

Jeongyeon nods her head from hearing the news and she looks at Nayeon who looks less worried.

 

Nayeon doesn’t even care about Christmas anymore, Momo is more important.

 

 

Another day passes and Momo is still healing in her state of mind.

 

The doctor gently takes off Nayeon’s neck brace and examines her x-ray scans. Everything looks fine, the stiffness is expected due to neck sprain from the accident.

The doctor examines Im Nayeon one last time before officially discharging her. The nurse patches her healing cuts with white tape. The doctor goes over her report one more time and signs the paperwork. Gathering her things in the small bag, she goes to Momo’s room. There’s nowhere else she’d rather be than with Momo, even if it means watching her deep sleep for hours.

 

She wants to be there for Momo when the doctor wakes her.

 

Jeongyeon takes a quick shower and goes to class. She still attends her schedule as usual. Her phone buzzes but she waits to check it.

The professor continues to lecture, and Jeongyeon is super focused.

Wrapping up the lecture, she jots some notes down before putting her notepad into her bag.

 

She retrieves her phone to check her message and its Mina.

(12:25:01) Mina: Where are you?

(12:25:05) Mina: Can you take me to visit Momo?

 

Jeongyeon instantly replies to Mina’s demand.

 

(12:25:20) Jeongyeon: I just got out of class, meet at the building by the quad?

 

Mina doesn’t drive. And she has no other way of getting to Momo without Jeongyeon. Busing to the hospital would take too long and she’s scared she’ll get lost.

 

Jeongyeon waits by the corner and minutes later Mina arrives out of breath as she see’s her running.

 

“You didn’t have to run,” Jeongyeon politely says.

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” Mina truths.

Jeongyeon smiles at Mina’s thoughtfulness.

“I would’ve still waited for you,” Jeongyeon responds.

Rain or shine, she will always wait for Myoui Mina.

 

The two walk towards the parking lot and Mina gets into Jeongyeon’s car. And it brings back memories. Mina looks out the window and she reminisces of drives with Jeongyeon. She smiles as she recalls their moments of stargazing. She misses her. She misses being held, she misses the touch, the caress, she misses Yoo Jeongyeon.

But Mina keeps her hands to herself.

 

Minari patiently sits there as Jeongyeon drives.

“I forgot flowers,” Mina suddenly confesses as she looks at Jeongyeon.

“It’s the visit that counts,” Jeongyeon says reassuring her that forgotten flowers are okay.

 

Despite what Jeongyeon said, Mina still feels bad. She’d want someone to bring her flowers if she was ill.

 

The two arrive at the hospital and Jeongyeon locks her car. Mina follows Jeongyeon as she enters the sliding doors.

 

Mina enters Momo’s room first, following Jeongyeon and she see’s Nayeon.

 

She doesn’t know Nayeon well, but she’s glad she’s okay. Mina approaches Nayeon in a friendly manner and hugs the girl. If she could hug Momo right now she would too.

 

“I heard what happened, I’m glad you’re okay,” Mina quietly says. And she turns her attention to Momo, and her expression saddens seeing her this way.

 

Nayeon enlightens her on her friend’s current condition and Mina’s face lessens hearing the news.

 

Things could’ve been worse, and she’s grateful Momo is alive.

 

The three stay in Momo’s room for a while, caring for her.

 

Couple hours pass, and it’s getting late, the sun is about to set. The two still have school tomorrow, and they have to get going.

 

“Can you take me home?” Nayeon asks at the last minute.

“I’d ask Momo, but…”Nayeon adds as she looks at her.

“Of course,” Jeongyeon replies.

 

The three leave Momo to rest, for she will be awaken soon. The count down continues: 2 more days.

 

Jeongyeon starts the car, and clicks her seat belt. She looks at Mina, then in her rear view to ensure Nayeon has her seat belt on too. And she drives, taking Nayeon home first, per her request.

 

Dropping her off at the front of her house and driveway, Mina and Jeongyeon wave her goodbye. Heading back to campus, Jeongyeon continues driving slow.

 

Jeongyeon’s brows arc, eyes are focused on the road, and Mina glances at her. She knows she’s thinking. She can read her face.

 

“Are you okay?” Mina asks out of concern.

And her expression changes as she looks over at Mina. The two make quick eye contact.

“I’ll be okay,” Jeongyeon assures.

“That’s what she said last time,” Mina’s conscience yells. Mina can read Jeongyeon’s face and she knows she’s sad.

“You don’t have to take me home,” Mina suggests.

“Where do you want to go?” Jeongyeon confusedly asks.

“Your place?” Mina answers. She knows Jeongyeon lives with Momo and now is alone.

If she goes over to her place, she can temporarily keep her company, that way Jeongyeon will feel less alone.

“I’ll be okay,” Jeongyeon repeats.

“I insist,” Mina asserts.

Jeongyeon exhales, Mina’s company would help her.

“Okay,” Jeongyeon finally agrees.

 

And she reverts, driving back to her apartment with Myoui Mina.

 

Jeongyeon enters her quiet apartment with Mina.

Making her way to the kitchen she takes out the food containers her mom packed. Measuring the rice, she washes it, swirling the rice clean, before setting it in the cooker. Jeongyeon waits for dinner and Mina watches her the entire time.

 

Her presence makes Jeongyeon feel less alone as she will be eating with someone besides Momo.

 

Jeongyeon sits down on the couch, turning on the TV as she waits for the rice to cook. Mina joins her and sits next to her.

 

She can tell she’s sad, but she doesn’t know how else to comfort her besides touching. But Mina just watches TV, sitting, thinking of ways to comfort this girl.

 

Minutes of thinking pass and Mina still sits, not knowing what to do. And the rice cooker clicks. Jeongyeon prepares dinner. Uncapping the containers and putting each separately on a plate, and Mina helps her by taking them all to the table.

Jeongyeon scoops the rice, serving Mina first then herself. And Mina waits for Jeongyeon before eating.

 

Jeongyeon eats mixing her rice with the side dishes. She looks at Mina who is eating but there’s not much on her plate. So, Jeongyeon grabs some veggies for her and fills her plate with an assortment of side dishes. And the girl smiles, it reminds her of old times. Jeongyeon is caring.

 

Jeongyeon chews her food and swallows the bite in her mouth before speaking.

“Thanks,…for coming over,” Jeongyeon says with appreciation.

Mina cheese, one of the reasons why is because she misses Jeongyeon.

Jeongyeon finishes eating first following Mina. And she walks to the kitchen holding her plate. As always Jeongyeon cleans up, but Mina insists and kindly grabs the sponge from her, “I got it.”

“That’s okay,” Jeongyeon sadly says.

“No that’s okay,” Mina copies and firmly grips the sponge.

Jeongyeon sighs and lets Mina take over the dish washing. She stands back, watching Mina wash the dishes. She doesn’t mind doing everything, but if Mina insists then okay.

 

Jeongyeon fixates on Mina, and the urge to want to hug her from behind enacts in her head and it seems cute. But she holds back and walks away to her room, leaving Mina in the kitchen.

 

She watches Jeongyeon leave and hurries to wash the dishes.

Jeongyeon gathers some clothes for Mina and changes the pillow sheets for the girl.

 

Mina finally finishes washing the dishes and heads to Jeongyeon’s room. The thoughtful girl hands her a set of clean clothes for her to change into. Mina decides to shower, leaving Jeongyeon unattended.

 

No Jam lays out another blanket right next to her bed, setting up her sleep station.

Jeongyeon feels a mix of emotions as she lies on the floor next to her bed. With Mina in her apartment, she doesn’t know how to feel. Seeing Momo that way, one minute she’s fine then the next she’s not. It makes her want to confess directly to Mina. But she’s not one to directly express her feelings and Mina knows that.

She quickly changes into a new set of clothes.

 

Jeongyeon lie down, turning away from her bed, trying to sleep. But she just keeps thinking of nonsense, and its annoying her.

“This is ridiculous,” Jeongyeon says out of frustration and gets up from the floor. It’s not like she’s never slept with Mina, there’s been plenty of times. But that’s not why she’s frustrated. She’s making it awkward by even sleeping on the floor. But as a courtesy, she wants to give Mina a full bed. The last time she offered to sleep on the floor, Mina said no. So this time probably wouldn’t be any different. Jeongyeon quickly folds the blankets on the floor and stuffs the entire thing in her closet. She get’s into bed on her usual side and turns away with her eyes closed.

Jeongyeon tucks herself in, stuffing her arm under her pillow for support, and relaxing her other arm.

 

Mina closes the bathroom door, wearing Jeong’s clothes and she glimpses at her.

Sitting on her bed, she reaches for the light, turning it off.

Jeongyeon feels her bed shift as Mina lies down, pulling the blanket to cover herself.

 

Mina turns towards Jeongyeon, facing her back. Knowing exactly her posture and position. She scoots closer to Jeongyeon and the girl can feel it. She can smell her scent.

 

Mina exhales and she just wants Jeongyeon to feel comforted. She reaches for her in the dark, sliding her arm around her waist, and Mina moves in closer but not too close where she can’t breathe. Jeongyeon opens her eyes, and its pitch black. She craves touch as she’s being touched. And she puts her hand on top of Mina’s, securing it there.

 

Jeongyeon’s bed, is where Mina first surrendered her entirety to her. It’s where they fornicated.

 

Jeongyeon can feel her heart rate accelerate, she wants to turn around, but she shouldn’t. She knows where it’ll lead. The tired girl loudly exhales and forces her eyes closed.

 

For the first night without Momo, Jeongyeon feels less alone.

 

Jeongyeon wakes in the same position she slept last night. Remembering she slept with Mina platonically, she turns over but she’s missing. Jeongyeon lies flat, waving her arm and stretching. As much as she would like to stay in bed, she has to go to class.

 

The sudden sound of pots clanking makes her get up. Walking to the kitchen she sees Mina cooking.

 

“Morning, did I wake you?” Mina kindly asks.

“You don’t have to do that,” Jeongyeon nicely says.

“I want to,” Mina states.

Jeongyeon doesn’t expect Mina to do anything, but if the girl wants to, then she can’t stop her. 

Jeong walks back to her room, checking her phone, and in the bathroom to wash up.

 

She joins Mina in the kitchen, as she’s prepared some eggs and cooked a soup. Heating the leftover rice, the two eat quietly at the table.

 

Surprised at what Mina’s cooked, Jeongyeon enjoys every bite. She’s speechless.

 

“This is delicious,” she compliments. And Mina smiles hard, she’s glad Jeongyeon likes the soup.

 

“Eat more,” Mina says and she helps scoop another bowl for her.

 

Jeongyeon checks the time, she has to go to class soon. She quickly eats and Mina follows. Rushing everything, Jeongyeon grabs the dishes and puts them in the sink.

 

Mina cleans the table and waits for Jeongyeon. Not having brought anything but herself and a bag, she waits by the door. Jeongyeon quickly changes, tossing something simple on and she grabs her school bag and keys.

 

No Jam drives back to campus, dropping Mina off at her dorm first then back to the school parking lots to find parking.

 

She quickly walks to class getting there right on time, and she notices Nayeon sitting in her usual seat. The two have a moment of eye contact and Nayeon’s eyes follow Jeongyeon as she sits down and the girl grins at her.

 

She could give Nayeon her notes, but with her popularity, she’s sure there are other people who would probably throw her notes at her.

 

The professor finishes lecture, and Jeong gathers her things, putting everything into her bag. Making her way out the door, Nayeon calls her.

 

Jeongyeon waves at Jisoo but turns around from Nayeon’s call and she approaches the girl.

“Can I borrow your notes?” she sweetly asks.

“Sure,” Jeong answers and reaches for her notes in her bag right then and there.

Nayeon helps her, offering her hands as a plate.

“Can I borrow you?” Nayeon asks again.

Jeong tilts her head, she’s unsure of what Nayeon means.

“I want to see Momo tomorrow, can you take me?  Nayeon pleads with one eye closed.

Jeongyeon finds her style of asking cute, and agrees to her. It’s the least she could do for Momo. Plus, that’s the day her best friends supposed to wake, and Jeongyeon wants to be there also.

“If anything you can always message me,” Yoo Jeongyeon informs.

Nayeon forgot she had Jeongyeon’s number.

“That’s right!” Nayeon exclaims.

“We worked on that project and we were in the same group,” she adds.

“Sorry I forgot I had your number,” Nayeon sincerely says and laughs.

“Must’ve been the accident, a concussion,” she sarcastically mumbles, talking to herself.

Jeongyeon stares, and laughs with her.

 

Jisoo waits for Nayeon as she finishes chatting with Jeongyeon. And off Jeongyeon walks, waving the two goodbye.

Nayeon walks with Jisoo, putting the notes into her backpack.

She could ask Jisoo for a ride to the hospital, but since Jeongyeon is going too it would be more convenient to carpool with her.

 

Catching a ride with Jisoo home, Nayeon goes to her room. She’s tired and due to the lack of sleep from last night, there was too much work she needed to catch up on.

 

She would like to spend Christmas with Momo since it’ll be their first together, but there’s also New Years Eve. It’s exciting thinking about these things and Nayeon smiles. She can’t wait for Momo to wake up from her coma.

 

Nayeon’s excited for tomorrow.

But the tired girl naps, pulling her blankets to her chin and she closes her eyes.

 

She sleeps for hours, undisturbed.

 

Jeongyeon heats up the soup Mina made yesterday. She eats the leftovers and they’re still good. Knowing they’re made by Mina and with love makes the food more delicious. She doesn’t know when Mina will cook for her again; she doesn’t want to burden her either. The thought of her wanting to stay over last night is more than enough and Jeongyeon thinks of Mina’s grasp and hands. Her touch is soft as always. Mina is the definition of soft.

 

Amongst the quietness, Jeong eats, sipping the soup and spooning rice into her mouth. She picks at the side dishes as it complements her meal.

Feeling content and happy about her dinner, Jeongyeon goes to her room.

 

Grabbing her school bag, she gathers her books. Yoo Jeongyeon works on her homework. Lending Nayeon her notes, she totally forgot she needs them for the new homework assignment.

 

The silly girl finds Nayeon’s contact and decides to call the girl, but no pick up.

 

(9:03:15) Jeongyeon: Hey, I totally forgot, the notes I lent you I need to see the example so I could do the new assignment. Can you please take a photo of my notes for me?

 

The buzzing of her phone wakes Nayeon from her long nap. And the girl rolls over to see a message and a missed call from Yoo Jeongyeon.

 

She anxiously gets up and digs through her backpack for her notes. And Nayeon immediately snaps a photo of it for her, returning the notes virtually.

 

Homework makes her think of Momo, especially that one time she studied so hard that all she wanted to do on her break was to see the girl. Nayeon walks to her window, peeking outside her blinds, recapping the randomly productive day when Momo gave her more than a break. Nayeon bites her lips, and the thoughts of Momo breaking her inside makes her quiver.

 

Nayeon throws herself on her bed, digging her face into her pillow and she pouts, she misses Hirai Momo. She misses her presence, touch, care, love, and her soft and hard kisses.

 

Nayeon skids her fingers across her lips. She misses the intimacy. And she recollects every satisfying touch Momo’s given her.

 

She exhales and touches herself, swaying her fingers from her hips to thighs.

But it’s not the same, and she refrains from touching further.

 

 

The week seemed to have went by super fast, and it’s already the weekend.

 

Today’s the day Momo wakes from her induced coma. Jeongyeon feels at ease knowing her wing-woman’s recovery is on track. She feels her worry lessen but she still doesn’t know what to expect. The doctor did advise her about brain trauma symptoms.

 

She wishes Momo well and she still does.

 

(9:00:00) Jeongyeon: Good morning, are you ready?

 

Jeongyeon sits in her car waiting for Nayeon’s reply. She doesn’t know where to pick Nayeon up at since she asked to ‘borrow’ her the other day.

 

So, Jeongyeon waits. Amidst the waiting, she clenches her hands, saying a little prayer to Momo.

 

Her phone buzzes and it’s Im Nayeon.

 

(9:04:30) Nayeon: Yes, can you come to my house.

 

Jeongyeon reads the message. Nayeon sends her another message with an address. No Jam inputs the address into her phone and clips it on her dash, driving to Nayeon’s house.

 

Minutes of driving, she arrives at a big house with a couple of cars in the driveway. She’s never been in this neighborhood, but it looks nice.

 

Jeongyeon messages Nayeon, but the girl already approaches her car, grabbing the handle and into her car she sits.

 

“Okay,” Nayeon says and smiles brightly after buckling her seatbelt. Jeongyeon looks at her, she looks different in a good way, pretty. And the expression on her face says a lot.

“What?” Nayeon says and looks at Jeongyeon who is staring at her.

“Nothing, you just look…excited,” Jeongyeon shrugs, and reverses the car, backing out the driveway.

“I am,” Nayeon replies.

“She lights up my heart,” Nayeon confesses with glimmer in her eyes.

She’s excited for Momo to finally wake. She feels happy.

When Momo wakes, the feeling of jealousy will come back, even though she’s happy for the two. Jeongyeon wishes she could have a perfect relationship like her best friend, someone as perfect as Nayeon. Jeong starts comparing the two in her head. If Mina could be like Nayeon, that would be too much to ask for, but Myoui Mina is no Im Nayeon.

Hell, Jeongyeon isn’t even perfect herself; there is no such thing as perfect, only imperfectly perfect.

 

Jeongyeon focuses on the road, it looks gloomy, as if it’s going to rain. But the girl continues to drive, making it safely to the hospital. The sky suddenly turns from a light to a dark shade of grey and a gust of wind circles as the two enter the sliding doors. Jeongyeon feels nervous, because what if something goes wrong. She doesn’t want to think that way, but her thoughts like to wander. The two enter the elevator and Nayeon presses the three button several times. Jeongyeon glances at the excited girl and it’s apparent, she’s anxious. 

 

Nayeon strolls to Momo’s room with Jeongyeon following behind her. The doctor is already in the room with two nurses preparing the syringe, unhooking some machines, removing her neck brace, and changing her bandages. Jeongyeon stands in a corner as she watches the doctor look over Momo’s medical file and inserts the needle into the cap of her IV. She notices the change in breathing tube and a different machine that clips onto her finger. Not knowing anything medical related, Jeongyeon assumes it must be another or different monitor. Nayeon stands closely next to Jeongyeon and she eagerly stares. Momo could wake up any second, minute, or hour.

 

“We’ve changed her bandages, everything seems to look good. Give it some time, the medicine needs to enter her bloodstream and do its work and she should be fully conscious,” the doctor informs. The two nurses and doctor leave, giving the two girls time to wait.

 

Nayeon nears Momo, staring at her. She looks at the clock on the wall and paces back and forth. Jeongyeon pushes the chair to her and she sits. Nayeon shakes her leg as she impatiently waits.

 

Nayeon’s making her nervous, Jeongyeon grabs the extra chair and scoots it next to Momo and her, and she sits down. Jeongyeon squeezes her knees and eyes the clock every tick it turns.

 

If Nayeon continues to shake her leg, she might copy her too.

 

Jeongyeon grips her hands, pressing her fingers and picking her nails. Now she’s nervous, she could wake any second.

 

Twenty minutes pass, and still no movement from Momo.

 

A steady beep keeps beeping and Momo can’t seem to find where it’s coming from. Confused at why she’s still sitting on the same bed, she turns her head in the direction of the clatter but nothing.

“Tzuyu,“ she calls.

Momo turns back to stare at the window, and the chrysanthemums are blooming.

“Tzuyu,” Momo calls again but louder this time.

If she’s married, then why doesn’t her wife come when she calls.

Momo looks at her hand and the gold band is gone.

Turning her hands around, she examines her palms.

She’s confused, she wants to get up from the bed, but her legs feel stuck.

The beep continues to sound but louder this time.

A bright light blinds her and Momo closes her eyes…

 

Hirai finally wakes, she slowly opens her eyes, and the room is bright. It pains her eyes and she scrunches her face as a result. Her fingers move and she slowly opens her eyes again, allowing them to wander, and her lips crease as if she’s learning to speak for the first time. Her heads throbbing and her skull feels like its about to split.

 

Jeongyeon and Nayeon stand, looking at Momo up close.

Nayeon squeals and Jeongyeon brightly smiles at Momo.

She’s finally conscious.

Raising her brows, she looks at Nayeon, getting a good look at the pretty girl, and back to Jeongyeon. She doesn’t recognize the female in front.

“J-j-jeong-y-yeon,” Momo quietly calls. Her throat is dry. Hirai licks her lips and tries to clear her throat.

 

Jeongyeon’s aware of her friend’s dry mouth and helps pour a cup of water for her.

 Momo closes her eyes, she feels moderately dizzy. Opening her eyes again, Jeongyeon helps point the straw to her lips, and she drinks the water, taking slow sips.

 

“Jeongyeon,” Momo says again but this time more audibly.

The girl furrows her brow, and turns her serious face to Nayeon, “when did you get a new girlfriend?”

 

Her question makes Jeongyeon laugh and Nayeon looks at her confused.

“What do you mean?” Jeongyeon says furrowing her brow back, thinking Momo is purposely joking with her.

“I thought you were with Mina,” Momo honestly blurts.

Nayeon stands there in disbelief, she was involved in the accident also, but her memory is crystal clear. The doctor did specifically educate symptoms of brain trauma and injury.

The doctor’s words repeat in Nayeons head, “there are symptoms that come after such as headaches, amnesia, mental confusion and such…”

 

Nayeon takes a step back trying to catch her breath.

She’s devastated; this Hirai Momo is not the same prior to the accident.

Placing her hand over her mouth, Nayeon clenches her teeth.

Jeongyeon folds her lips inward, she realizes this too. She thinks Nayeon does too, and Jeongyeon doesn’t say anything. She exits the room, leaving Nayeon and sprints to the reception calling the nurse for a doctor to check Momo.

 

Jeongyeon run’s back to the room, and a doctor appears a minute later.

He flashes Momo’s eyes, checking her pupils to see if they’re equal and they are.

 

“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” the doctor asks.

“Uhm, I can’t really remember how I got here, did I faint during a check up or something?” Momo questions back.

Momo has no recollection of the accident or how she landed in the hospital in the first place.

 

Momo closes her eyes, thinking hard, but nothing, her minds blank.

 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon observe the doctor as he examines Momo.

The doctor turns around to face Jeongyeon.

“It seems Momo has amnesia and some mental confusion. With amnesia it could be a loss of a memory they once had to a certain point in time ranging from days, months, to maybe even years. There’s a possibility the memories lost could return like fragments and in random order. With patients who have severe brain trauma, there’s no telling, but there are ways to help them remember or try to. Things such as certain sounds, photographs, and smells could potentially help,” the doctor enlightens.

 

“Can you fix her?” Nayeon sadly asks.

The doctor hesitates because there’s no medication that can be given that would retrieve all the memory lost.

 

Nayeon feels her world crashing. Feeling extremely tragic, Nayeon runs out the room with her hand covering her face as she cries.

 

The doctor leaves Jeongyeon to absorb everything in.

Jeongyeon looks at Momo and decides to tell her the truth.

“Did something happen that I don’t know?” she confusedly asks.

“You were in an accident Momo, you’ve been in the hospital for about two weeks. You just woke from a coma. That pretty girl, is your girlfriend, you’ve been with her for several months. I don’t know what happened to you or her, but you two were on the way to the Christmas lighting event,” Jeongyeon calmly informs.

Momo panics as she tries to accept and comprehend everything.

“What?” Momo blurts.

“How am I with her, when my girlfriend is Chou Tzuyu? That would be..cheating,” Momo voices.

Jeongyeon rubs her temple and runs her hands through her hair, pulling it. She doesn’t want to believe that Momo lost that much of her memory…

 

But it’s true. Momo can’t even remember how she got there in the first place.

And it saddens Jeongyeon knowing that Momo can’t remember a perfect Nayeon.

 

Jeongyeon sighs, leaving Momo with the truth, she goes after Im Nayeon. Seeing her crouched at the end of the hall with her face deep in her arms, Jeongyeon approaches her, trying to comfort her the way she would if it was Mina.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeongyeon says as she gently places her hand on the crying girl’s back.

Things weren’t supposed to be this way…

 

She knew Nayeon was happy and excited on the drive there and in the elevator, and now seeing her like this, hurts.

 

Jeongyeon feels hurt also, because how can Momo not remember, she doesn’t understand.

 

Jeongyeon crouches next to Nayeon and hugs her. Consoling her with open arms.

Nayeon continues to cry, she’s completely and utterly sad and more than heartbroken.

 

Nayeon throws her arms around Yoo Jeongyeon, digging her face into the crook of her neck. Jeongyeon falls back, landing on her butt, and she sits there allowing Nayeon to borrow her shoulder to cry on.

 

Jeongyeon wraps her arms around the crying girl as if she’s protecting her, and her eyes begin to tear too.

 

“W-w-wh-hy,” Nayeon mutters on bended knees.

Jeongyeon doesn’t know how to answer, and the only thing that comes to mind is: things happen, life is unfair. 

 

She doesn’t know how to make things better either, because there is no better.

Now, there is only a forward…


End file.
